Tags
Baptism in the Holy Spirit, being born again, ecstasy, experience, Jesus Christ, Johann Koller, John Wycliffe, life after death, light, love, spiritual power, the Kingdom of God
Johann Koller
Born: 2 Feb 1932
Died: 28 Apr 2010
In order to illustrate the statement I made in the headline, I decided to start with my testimony of how I met a man spiritually whom I never met personally before. Here is My Story #1.
His name was Johann Koller. He was an Austrian prelate in Vienna, appointed by John Paul II, who served in the Roman Catholic Church as a priest until his dying day on April 28 in 2010 at 12.55 pm. Let me tell you why I remember his time of death so precisely.
At that time I had never come to know anybody personally who knew Christ’s loving embraces (‘agape’ love) from their own experience. Not one, indeed. One day as I was writing down my spiritual experiences with God – which finally resulted in a fat book the RCC here in the archdiocese Bamberg in Bavaria didn’t want to publish – I randomly banged into an Austrian website.
There, Johann Koller, honestly and humbly, had written about his painful experiences during “the dark night of the soul” (cf. John of the Cross). Reading his testimony, my heart was set on fire since those anointed books from John of the Cross had been my only help since the year 2000 when God had plunged me into a deep ocean of darkness combined with painful suffering and mourning while simultaneously pouring His heavenly, blissful light into my soul.
I remember sitting in front of the computer weeping, and weeping, and weeping…
Yet I was so happy having found his testimony that I wrote an email to him. Later I saw that my email had been read (by anyone) and because I had not asked for a response, I was quite content about the way things were. And indeed, soon afterwards I found out that Johann Koller had been ill and therefore in hospital. Thus I thought, “No wonder that he couldn’t reply to me.”
However, only a few days later when I was on my usual prayer walk through the woods, something really strange happened to me. I recall having felt a certain kind of bliss which had been unknown to me before, whenever I was walking through that forest after having sent my email to Johann.
It was Wednesday, the 28th of April in 2010, only a few minutes before 1:00 pm. I was happily walking and talking with God, as I suddenly felt nudged to pray for Johann. Since I knew that he was sick, I would try to pray for healing. But God’s Spirit gently hindered me to do so. I remember having prayed without words, then, as unexpectedly recurring overwhelming waves of bliss were drowning my senses. Honestly, I was almost carried off my feet then!! And to my utter astonishment – at that very moment – I felt Johann’s presence as near as Christ’s and our Father’s (cf. 1 John 1:3).
Consulting my watch, it was exactly 12:55 pm.
This is the fellowship of the saints in His Sprit, my friends, my brothers and my sisters. There is an invisible cloud of witnesses around us who join us in our suffering and rejoice in our victories (as to resisting the devil). These saints, ALL of them, support us in a way I could not have imagined before that very date – but now I know…
My Story #2 is much more personal since it refers to my son David whom God took before he could live a life on earth together with his parents. Actually, in 2009 my hubby Paul and I lost our only son through a miscarriage. Although I had been struggling with this for awhile, it was deeply comforting for me to know that Jesus said,
“Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” (Mt 19:14 ESV)
To me, this is not “dead Scripture”, since soon after the death of our own son, as I was praying late at night, the Lord suddenly “arose” in my mind (spirit) and showed me our dear little son whom Jesus caressed sooo much, that the baby chortled and dissolved into giggles [Note: Living in the Spirit that indwells us enables us to see and enter the kingdom of heaven, cf. Jn 3:3-5]. I felt the same (agape) love for David at that very moment as I had felt for Johann Koller through Christ’s mediation. Truly, it was extremely comforting to see that life in Christ indeed IS eternal.
Regarding this very issue of babies dying before having been able to live on their own, I recall it was John Wycliffe who comforted a desperate woman who had thought that her baby that had not been baptized would be in hell (Sheol/Hades) after death. The simple answer Wycliffe gave her was that he pointed to King David who, after the death of his first son with Bathsheba said,
“But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.” (2 Sm 12:23)
I SHALL GO TO HIM, but he will not return to me. Aha!! Was his son baptized? Certainly not. Since King David, like all other male figures of the OT, was a type of Christ, one might think of God’s promise after reconciling the world to Himself through the death and resurrection of His only Son, to save EVERYONE who would call on His name. For it is written,
“And it shall come to pass that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. For in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be those who escape, as the Lord has said, and among the survivors shall be those whom the Lord calls.” (Joel 2:32 ESV)
It has begun with Pentecost (Acts 2:17) and the Lord won’t stop saving [I repeat it 😉 ] EVERYONE who calls on His name until the universe is done…
Entering the Promised Land 
yes living your life by Gods spirit being is indeed a strange experience and when you try to explain it to someone who is not actually experiencing it themselves its a struggle to put it into words because you know they will not get it unless God causes them to–I like the way one group of biblical commentators explained it to me–they called living under Gods spirit beings control an altered state of consciesness.
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So true, Kenneth. I have almost given up on trying to explain what cannot be comprehended unless someone has had his own experiences which transcend our visible world. And I do like that explanation you gave that much: it is indeed an altered state of consciousness!
Although I (mostly, but not always) sense what still happens around me in the visible realm, dealing with these things has become as interesting as brooding on a parked bike that is just tumbling over in Timbuktu. 😉
Thank you for your continued input, my brother. Much appreciated!
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As for this “altered state of being,” For some of us it is like Rod Sterling used to say, “You have just entered into the Twilight Zone,” for the new source of our light is not of this world any longer. Or like Neo said to Morpheus upon waking up in the real world, “Why do my eyes hurt?” To this Morpheus responded, “Because you have never used them before.”
In Romans chapter 12 we read, “Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].” (Romans 12:2 AMP) and what is that entirely new mind that we are being given? Paul also wrote saying, “For ‘Who has known the mind of the Lord so that he can advise him?’ However, we have the mind of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 2:16 ISV). That is what God is doing in us… He has given us a whole NEW mind with which we can perceive Him and see and understand spiritual things as HE sees them. Call us mystics if you must, but we see this as the NEW normal in the eyes of God.
Love you all, Michael
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That is a great example, Michael. Actually, in the beginning our eyes hurt and we begin to weep because the light is much too bright. But over time our eyes are getting used to His light and our tears dry – more and more.
As for me, I know I have been a mystic all my life and I am both grateful for this divine gift as I am thankful for my Roman Catholic “heritage”, that is, the mystical writings of John of the Cross, Teresa of Ávila, Meister Eckhart, Mechthild of Magdeburg, Jeanne-Marie Bouvier de la Motte-Guyon, Francis of Assisi, Hadewych of Antwerp and many, many others.
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Thank you for sharing these very private experiences. God can touch us so deeply, it is difficult to find words (and can be difficult for others to believe). You obviously have a very strong faith, and a deep personal relationship with Him. I had not heard of Johann Koller, but I have read St. Teresa of Avila who writes about the journey to know God intimately. I am certain that you will meet your son again — if not in this life, then in the next.
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You are most welcome, dear Anna.
Indeed, it is still difficult for me to write about such and similar experiences, although I keep on trying to explain what cannot be grasped with our minds unless God has opened our hearts to realize the hidden truth behind the “logical realm”. If I have truly strong faith, then certainly because I am a very weak woman who needs God’s gentle guidance and help in all things (Jn 15:5).
I am glad to hear that you read Teresa of Ávila, too. Yes, I learned a lot from her, esp. from her journal and letters which were a wonderful confirmation for me as to my own experiences with Jesus and God.
Thanks so much for commenting on my blog once again, Anna! 🙂
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Thoroughly enjoyed floating through this story of God’s work in God’s Kingdom for the purpose of God’s fellowship with Christ in us. The teachings of men rather than God have created generations of church-going babies who fear the deeper things of God. The word mystic was a fearful thing to me until the Lord opened my eyes in the light. Now I am feeding on Christ through Jeanne Guyon’s works oh my. Wonderful beyond words. Thank you Susanne.
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Oh, dear Skylla! You are so welcome. 🙂
Indeed, I so enjoyed reading your encouraging response that I rejoiced, praising the Lord for such a sweet sister like you! ❤
Yes, to many the word mystic is still a fearful thing which I understand because there is also a sort of unsound self-centered mysticism which might rather confuse those who practice it than be of any help to get closer to God. Also, I often wondered how one should describe those experiences as Moses’s encounters with God, Jeremiah’s and other prophets’ calls (by the living God), or Jesus with Moses and Elijah on the Mount of Transiguration. Even thinking of Pentecost, receiving the power of Holy Spirit so that miracles could happen – were all these no mystical experiences?
I believe that left-brained, male-dominated theology does not leave that much space for heartfelt experiences. But since God is LOVE which is always connected to feelings, mere doctrine and talk about God will most probably miss the mark of helping believers to outgrow the age of spiritual infants that rather look to men than to God. By the way, my sister, I really love this sentence,
Particularly “church-going babies”. Ha! That was hilarious (lol – imagine the pic)….. but sooo true at the same time.
Thanks so much for your wonderful comment, dear Skylla!
Love,
Susanne xoxo
PS
Apropos mystics, I recall having written an article about prayer without ceasing that includes an excerpt from one of Mme de la Motte-Guyon’s writings. But maybe, you might know it if you’ve read several works from her already. If you’re interested, though, here’s the link: Where do you suppose to start with the prayer without ceasing?.
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Yes! and thank you for that link. I have barely begun to explore all her works, I’m in her autobiography right now and frankly, have been biting off such tiny bites (it’s VERY rich) it’s taking me a very long time to finish. But oh, what depths! I couldn’t even begin to articulate how her description of her relationship with Him has revealed Him to me. I agree that there are certainly understandings and practices of mysticism that do not originate from God’s heart. Church-going babies indeed….. sucking at the teat of men’s “milky skim water” as they crave carnality and are able to have it in any flavor they desire. But many are coming out now and for that we praise and rejoice! Thank you dear Susanne for your cheery response, awesome blog. Love, Skylla
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You’re most welcome, Skylla. And THANK YOU for the awesome blog! 🙂
Love ❤
Susanne
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Susanne, I am still deeply touched by the way Jesus was there for you with spiritual understanding about the dark night you went through and also to comfort you when you lost your son, David. You are a very special person and all who have gotten to know you IN Christ love you very much. ❤
Michael
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Oh Michael, you are so very special for me too. I love you very much, not only because you have helped me so much when I felt very low due to spiritual despair of the dark night of the spirit (i.e. dark night of the soul part 2). I love you because you are YOU, my brother!
Your Susanne in Him
❤
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“And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that any of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common.” (Acts 4:32 KJ2000)
I think that they had ALL things in common, not just possessions for that is what happens when we have ONE heart and ONE soul.
Yes, Susanne, I feel the same way about you. Wouldn’t it be great if God would let us meet someday? I can’t help but think of the relationship that Francis of Assisi had with Clare as I read your comment to mine. His great love seems to know no bounds once we put the flesh behind us (with His working death in us) and find ourselves together IN Christ (the power of His resurrection) where there ceases to be male nor female, slave or free, Jew nor Gentile, but NEW creatures IN Christ. It is HERE that we truly feel and experience HIS heart as our heart, His Spirit as our spirit, His mind as our mind and His love as OUR love. I am so blessed that God has put us together in mind, heart, soul and spirit in His Son.
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I believe God will provide everything, even a meeting in His perfect time, my brother.
What you wrote about Francis and Clare reminded my of the fact that Jesus sent His disciples never alone but almost always two of them together. Since in Him, as you rightly pointed out, there is no regard of gender any longer. We read in Church History that such deep spiritual bonds often occurred. Beginning with Jesus and John (the disciple who Jesus loved), Paul and Timothy – still same gender, we hear Paul eventually ask the Corinthians,
“Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas?” (1 Cor 9:15 KJV)
I am also thinking here for example of Teresa of Ávila and John of the Cross, Madame de la Motte Guyon and Abbé Fénelon, and also of Johann Koller who knew several spiritual believers, yet it seemed to me there was a married nurse whom he knew (spiritually) better than the others. Just thinking…
The flesh cannot grasp the spiritual things and people will always get suspicious if they have not yet experienced God’s freeing power that takes away mere sexual attraction by the flesh and transfers it to another, that is, to the spiritual level. I wrote about it in the “Introduction” to this blog as well as in one of my older articles (cf. Putting on the new self – but how?).
Yes and amen, I have been blessed by God who prophesied to us both before what He would put us together (yet we did not know WHEN and with WHO and HOW) and I gladly admit today, you are truly a gift and precious blessing for me, Michael. 🙂
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A rich blessing you have been for me as well, Susanne, while we both listen to the Spirit who makes us track together so often in what we write, think and even feel though we are physically separated by an ocean and a continent. I am sure that this would not have happened if we had not both also experienced the fellowship of Christ’s sufferings and born one another’s burdens as we have also watched the work of the cross in our lives and shared many common life experiences. Without these soul killing events in us such a fellowship that we share in the Spirit and love of our Daddy and His Son could not have happened. It is so wonderful that through it all, the love of God shed abroad in our hearts has held us together.
I can safely say, that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared to the Glory that is being revealed in us. What a blessed hope comes from knowing that when Christ appears we will be like Him for we shall have seen Him just as He is as He perfects His Bride.
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Yes and amen, my brother. There is nothing I could add because you expressed my own thoughts once again. 🙂
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Dearest Susanne, I read this quote from Brennan Manning and thought it fit here…
“To ignore, repress, or dismiss our feelings is to fail to listen to the stirrings of the Spirit within our emotional life. Jesus listened. In John’s Gospel we are told that Jesus was moved with the deepest emotions (11:33)… The gospel portrait of the beloved Child of Abba is that of a man exquisitely attuned to His emotions and uninhibited in expressing them. The Son of Man did not scorn or reject feelings as fickle and unreliable. They were sensitive antennae to which He listened carefully and through which He perceived the will of His Father for congruent speech and action.”
― Brennan Manning, Abba’s Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging
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Oh, yes, it fits, my dearest brother. I want to reply to you with another quote from Brennan.
― Brennan Manning, Abba’s Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging
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AMEN! Or with Paul’s words,
“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Eph 3:14-19 ESV)
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Wow, Susanne, pues yo también hago parte de los místicos, como dice Michael jajjajajaja.
Qué experiencia tan hermosa Susanne, confirma muchas cosas que viví en el duelo de mi esposo. Realmente tuve muchas experiencias y no he podido compartirlas del todo, porque la gente no entiende, no tienen ojos para ver. Muchas personas también me contaron sus experiencias de la forma como el Señor les mostró esa realidad y fue de un gran aliento a mi vida en ese tiempo.
Te contaré solo tres de esas experiencias, porque sería muy largo contarte todo.
Recién murió mi esposo, estaba tirada en el suelo, llorando, desgarrada por dentro, de pronto siento como si el Señor se sentara a mi lado y siento el abrazo del Señor, de una forma tan real, Él me envuelve con sus brazos y lo oigo llorar conmigo, fue una experiencia maravillosa, no sé como explicarlo, sentí como si abrazando a Jesús en ese momento era como estar abrazando a mi Manolo.
Mucho tiempo después el Señor me dio una visión, fue como si muriera y llegara a Su presencia, de pronto veo al Señor, lleno de amor y lo rodeaba una gran luz y Él me dice: ven y mira. Había un camino largo de mucha gente esperándome y todos estaban tan felices y se veía una paz en sus rostros y un amor grande entre ellos y al primero que vi fue a mi esposo y luego a muchos más, fue una experiencia maravillosa que no puedo explicar con palabras.
Y en un sueño, veo venir a un hombre hermoso, alto, no lo reconocí, cuando se fue acercando me pareció que era mi esposo, se acercó a mí y me tocó mi cara, y yo toqué la de él. Estaba vestido de una túnica blanca, yo le pregunté si era Manolo, me dijo que si, luego le pregunté que si estaba en el cielo, dijo que si y después le dije que si seguía amándome y me respondió que si, pero de una manera distinta, me miraba con tanto amor, pero como su hermana. Fue algo maravilloso. Recordarlo me hace llorar.
Gracias Susanne XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Patricia wrote,
“Wow, Susanne, because I’m also part of the mystics, as Michael says jajjajajaja.
What a beautiful experience Susanne, confirms many things that I lived in the mourning of my husband. I really had many experiences and I have not been able to share them completely, because people do not understand, they do not have eyes to see. Many people also told me their experiences of the way the Lord showed them that reality and it was a great encouragement to my life at that time.
I’ll tell you just three of those experiences, because it would be too long to tell you everything.
My husband died recently, I was lying on the floor, crying, torn inside, suddenly I feel as if the Lord sat next to me and I feel the embrace of the Lord, in such a real way, He wraps me with his arms and I hear crying with me, it was a wonderful experience, I do not know how to explain it, I felt as if embracing Jesus at that moment was like being hugging my Manolo.
A long time after, the Lord gave me a vision, it was as if I died and came into His presence, suddenly I see the Lord, full of love and surrounded by a great light and He tells me: come and see. There was a long way of many people waiting for me and everyone was so happy and there was a peace in their faces and a big love between them and the first one I saw was my husband and then many more, it was a wonderful experience that I can not explain with words.
And in a dream, I see a beautiful, tall man come along, I did not recognize him, when he came closer it seemed to me that he was my husband, he came up to me and he touched my face, and I touched his. He was dressed in a white robe, I asked him if it was Manolo, he said yes, then I asked him if he was in heaven, he said yes and then I told him if he still loved me and he answered yes, but in a way different, he looked at me with so much love, but like his sister. It was wonderful. Remembering makes me cry.
Thanks Susanne XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO”
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Wow, Patricia, ahora estoy impresionada!! ⭐ ¡Qué maravillosas experiencias que tuviste con Jesús Y Manolo después de su muerte! ❤ ❤
Una escritura acaba de venir a la mente.
“Queridos hermanos, ahora somos hijos de Dios, pero todavía no se ha manifestado lo que habremos de ser. Sabemos, sin embargo, que cuando Cristo venga seremos semejantes a él, porque lo veremos tal como él es.” (1 Jn 3:2 NVI – énfasis en cursiva añadido)
¡Gracias Patricia! ❤
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
I answered her,
“Wow, Patricia, now I am impressed!! ⭐ What wonderful experiences you had with Jesus AND Manolo after his death!! ❤ ❤
A Scripture just came to mind.
“Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.” (1 Jn 3:2 ESV – emphasis in italics added)
Thank you, Patricia! ❤
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO”
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Yes, Susanne, that verse from first John really fits. The goal of the Father is that we are all ONE in His Son with His love flowing between each of us on a horizontal plain before the Father and the Son in perfect unity with them in their love.
“And I saw as it were a sea of glass mingled with fire: and them that had gotten the victory over the beast, and over his image, and over his mark, and over the number of his name, stand on the sea of glass, having the harps of God.” (Rev 15:2, KJ2000)
Your brother IN the Son, ❤
Michael
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Thank you very much for the encouragement, Michael! ⭐
Your sister in Christ forever,
Susanne ❤
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