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arrow, dreams, ecstasy, experience, fire, God, heart, love, pierced, prayer, spiritual power, visions
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I decided to translate some parts of my spiritual diary from German into the English language.
Between January 2010 and December 2011 I described my everyday experiences with God in a very detailed way that displays how adventurous and surprising it is to walk in the Spirit with God and Jesus; actually, it could easily be compared with the ups and down while riding on a rollercoaster.
Perhaps this whole thing turns out a series – or not, since I never know beforehand what God nudges me to do or write in the very next moment. Well, this entry, at least is kind of the beginning of sharing my detailed records… 😉
January 31, 2010
Some days ago I had a dream which later became reality and, subsequently, I saw an extraordinary vision that is difficult to describe.
Initially, I would dream that I was trying to turn the alarm off, but I failed because the off button was defective. And behold, shortly afterwards, pressing several times on that very thing, I realized that it indeed did not react as it was supposed to. However, for some mysterious reason, the button worked later as if it had never been out of function.
Strange.
Then I saw the vision as follows.
Still lying in my bed, I suddenly raise my eyes toward the deep gray sky that seems to have opened a little at a certain point, just as if the firmament were only a veil which would merely cloak reality behind.
Staring wide-eyed into the distance where the small blue hole in the sky can be seen, all at once, I give a wince of pain. DEEP PAIN!! Spiritually, at least, since my heart has been struck by an invisible arrow of divine origin. My core has been pierced and sealed with an incredible fiery longing to immediately leave my bed and be there where the pain comes from. And indeed, despite my aching and burning heart, I feel that Heaven violently draws my whole being far away from the earth. No, not Heaven, in fact, it is God’s immense supernatural love that attracts me irresistibly like a huge electromagnet a small iron filing…….
The intensity of that yearning, or rather desire, to be ONE with God was of an extreme extent. There is no human longing which could be compared with such an almost unbearable rupture of your very heart. A few moments longer and Susanne would have surely died (sooo gladly at that, too 🙂 ).
To be continued – Lord willing
Entering the Promised Land 
Yes Susanne there can be some rather other type experiences with our lord and they for sure capture our wonder but oh they are so wonderful and I’ve had some..my only frustration is that I wish I could have more of them..anyway I’m gladly awaiting the rest of the story.
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Sorry to hear that you’re frustrated because of THIS, Kenneth, but you may know that I know that frustration as well. There were many years when I was complaining, again and again, about why the Lord showed me something and then – Feeewwwww – it was over. For how long? Always too long, in Susanne’s view. Years of waiting and NOTHING happened.
But some day I talked with a sister about it and she could not understand why I was complaining. Instead, she burst out with shouting, “Wow!!! I wish I experienced what you did!! You make me envious.” THAT humbled me, indeed, and made me more and more grateful toward God for His unpredictable mercies.
May God bless you more than ever, my brother!
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Kenneth, I couldn’t of put my own experiences and longings in words any better than you did here. Thanks. Yes, Susanne, be encouraged to keep on sharing your amazing walk with us. I will be praying for you that He gives you the wisdom on what to say.
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Thank you, Michael. Yes, I always need His wisdom since I have none.
Indeed, I dropped the biggest part of what I had written on that very day (Jan 31, 2010) because I did not want to scare somebody off right in the beginning of sharing my spiritual experiences. Actually, the dark night of the soul (cf. John of the Cross) is a both beautiful AND horrible experience for the human soul that has been filled with the light – the Holy Spirit – of God.
Someone who has never experienced God’s sword of the Spirit before, could easily fall away by reading my encounters with God that led to deepest suffering before I had another freeing and delightful encounter with Him. It is always up and down on the stairway to Heaven. And it is not an easy path, the narrow way that leads to life. Suffering and pain must be accepted as well.
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Susanne, thank you for these words, they give words to the cry of my heart! ‘it is God’s immense supernatural love that attracts me irresistibly like a huge electromagnet a small iron filing…….’
Every part of my being desparately needs to have this experience! To become one with God’s loving heart! To be stablized by His love, so much so, that NO cruel word, No angry or intimidating voice, No form of cruelty will ever weaken my faith again!!!
In Jesus Name!
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You are most welcome, dear Susie! ❤
I am glad to hear that my short entry met your spiritual cry for His immense supernatural love. You may know that I have been praying a lot for you recently. I was so sad that I had neither time nor strength to chat with you lately, but I was very exhausted. 😛 Yet you have always been close to my heart, my dear sister. Of course (!!), I will keep praying for you that God will both strengthen your faith and pour His love into your longing heart, more and more and more…
Thank you so much for your encouraging comment, Susie!!! 🙂
Much love,
Susanne xx
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Susanne, thank you for explaining the reason for your silence, it helps a lot! But, even more, thank you for praying for me, those prayers ARE NEEDED!!! I understand exhaustion like I have never before. Battling health issues, social, family problems can and are crushing to ones strength, as well as draining to ones reserves. My reserves are depleted these days. So I really do understand.
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Thanks so much for your understanding, my dear Susie. 🙂
Actually, I do not write that often as I did in the past, either. Neither blog posts, nor poems, or comments on other blogs. It was way too much in the past and I really seek to remain in His rest and let Him alone nudge me what to do. It’s still a struggle, but worth it, since whenever I “obey” His leading, the fruit of the Spirit increases (peace, love, joy, etc). So, it seems to be the right way for me.
Love you in Him ❤
Susanne
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Susanne, I get what you are saying and meaning. The need to back off of writing and reading, the time it does take to try to read EVERYTHING that EVERYONE writes, the only one who can do that is God Himself! For us, before we even realize it, we get so caught up in it all, that other more important things are left undone. I am new at this writing and sharing, and I already feel the pressure of trying to keep up! LOL No! It just isn’t going to happen, so I am with you in your choice to back off and REST. Go for it Susanne! Drink up all the rest that you can drink and enjoy it as best that you can.
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Mmmmhhhh……. 😋
Your words did ME a world of good, dear Susie! ❤ Thank YOU, you truly made my day by expressing my very own thoughts by writing,
“The need to back off of writing and reading, the time it does take to try to read EVERYTHING that EVERYONE writes, the only one who can do that is God Himself! For us, before we even realize it, we get so caught up in it all, that other more important things are left undone. I am new at this writing and sharing, and I already feel the pressure of trying to keep up!”
Yes and yes!! Wise words, my dear. I have been reading and writing on the net (in English) since December 1, 2011. And I launched my two blogs in June 2014. The more attention my blogs get and the more blogs I began to follow, the stronger the pressure got for me because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone, knowing myself that I have been wondering at times why some follow my blog but never comment nor give me a like. Well… now I see that it is impossible to be everywhere at all times, writing emails all day long, commenting on my blogs, on Facebook or Google+, plus also chatting on FB and G+… I am sure you get the picture. And you were so right, only God can do that, my sister!!!
Thanks a bunch for your encouragement! Indeed, meanwhile I withdraw from the net every day until I FEEL God’s presence and from that point on, I decide what to do and what to drop. If I don’t do that, I will soon be exhausted again and then I have NOTHING to give to anyone. We all need our spiritual batteries recharged every day. Otherwise we burn out, don’t we…
Enjoying our thread of comments on here and on your blog, Susie!! 🙂
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Susanne and Susie, great advice! I also spend way too much time on my laptop trying to keep up on everyone’s blogs that have signed on to get my missives or that comment on mine. It kind of reminds my of the movie, “Bruce Almighty” where God lets him be like God and all those prayer requests hit him all at once from all over the world and he flips out. He finally says, “Yes to everyone!” and causes all kinds of chaos. You are right Susanne, unless we become like Jesus and only do the works our Father gives US to do, we will burn out every time or start saying and doing things that we wish we had not.
Your brother who is blessed by you both,
Michael
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Hahaha… Bruce Almighty – that was a real good reminder, Michael. 😉
Actually, I watched that film when I was still bipolar during a manic phase and I could so easily identify with this hilarious actor Jim Carrey that I, sitting beside Paul, my hubby, was truly laughing myself silly. Eventually Paul said, “This man really reminds me of you, Susanne. You must be related!” 🙂
By the way, many of my recent experiences and the thread of comments on here, esp. with Susie, were the inspiration for my latest blog post https://enteringthepromisedland.wordpress.com/2015/02/03/a-peaceful-and-quiet-life-in-christ/ that I published today.
Am blessed to be your sister in Him,
Susanne
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Dear Susanne, I am so blessed to have you as my near and dear sister IN Christ as well!
Talk about laughing myself silly while watching a movie.. I did that the first time I watched “What About Bob?” a 1991 comedy film starring Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss. Murray plays Bob Wiley, a psychiatric patient who follows his egotistical psychiatrist Dr. Leo Marvin (Dreyfuss) on vacation.
The reason it really hit home was I had just got free of a pastor named Bob and he was just like Dr. Leo Marvin, the egotistical shrink in the movie and I was just like Bog and a big thorn in his side and all I wanted to do was be his friend! The plot was a total match! So God used that movie to let me know how HE saw what I had just gone through with Pastor Bob while I was still licking my wounds from another bad church experience. My kids sat there and watched me laughing myself to tears instead of watching the movie and later said to my wife that they had never seen me laugh so hard before. The movie was used by the Lord as good therapy and the whole experience was one more nail in the coffin of me trying to make organized religion work ever again, though I tried two more churches before I finally heard the Lord say to me in a service, “Why do you keep seeking the LIVING among the dead?” THAT was the end of Sunday religion for me! It had become like beating my head against a brick wall… it felt sooo GOOD when I quit! 🙂
Love you in the Son,
Michael
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🙂
Love you, too, in Him,
Susanne
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