Tags
experience, freedom, God, Kundalini, meditation, psychology, sanctification, spiritual power, spiritual transformation, the new self, the old self, ZEN
THE FINAL BREAKTHROUGH 🙂 (Photo by Paul Schuberth)
How to explain what can hardly be described verbally? I don’t know what to write about IT yet, but I am trying, though…
Losing track of SELF means letting go of
(1) our thoughts – both negative and positive
(2) our feelings – both negative and positive, too
(3) our plans to do this or that by all means at a certain time
And it also implies to open up our hearts to everyone in utmost vulnerability by abandoning those walls which we built in the past in order to protect us against offenses and attacks from others. Oh, gentle reader, I do know that going through that process is anything but pleasant, but in the end, freedom and unconditional love for everyone will be ours.
I admit that the whole thing sounds rather theoretical until now. Therefore I am going to illustrate it by a picture.
Imagine you are walking along a street, proud of yourself that you eventually fulfilled a duty that had been weighing upon you for some time, and your mind is now filled with joyful thoughts of what you want to do next (as a gratification, so to speak). Continuing on your merry walk, you are getting more and more lost in your expectations as for your planned project which consists of something you REALLY love to do.
But alas, out of the blue, some people approach you and you KNOW what comes next. It has always been so in the past: either you stop and listen to their endless talk while secretly being bored to death and feeling anger because you now cannot do what you wanted, or you opt for flight by telling them that you have no time. However, in both cases you might feel uncomfortable since……maybe it would have been better to listen to them? More “loving”, perhaps?
Hmm…
Actually, Susanne was confronted with such situations so often recently that she thought she’d go nuts soon. More often than usual – waaaaay more often, indeed. 🙂 Well, I think it’s not necessary to mention that I got increasingly angry – not knowing what to do with that negative feeling. Although there were times in my life when I was well-trained in the practice of meditation (ZEN and Kundalini), I know from these experiences that you work for hours in order to let go of one ridiculous thought or feeling, however, the very next day it is back as if it was never gone. And the whole “Let it drop” process begins anew.
“But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Mt 19:26 ESV)
And today was a new day where God proved that His Word is true and that He keeps His promises – always!
That does not mean that I had a wonderful day filled with joyful feelings – no!!! Quite the contrary (grin). Yet I realized in those many “anger” situations today that God alone can do what I cannot.
As soon as I felt angry during the day, I sensed God nudging me from the inside to accept that anger by neither suppressing it nor letting it out. I felt that I had to let go of any expectation that I could ever change my feelings on my own and therefore I simply observed them while God began to set me free. Actually, there were so many unpleasant situations today that I cannot stop wondering at the fact that every kind of anger subsided after a few minutes without Susanne having done anything except for admiring God who accomplished the impossible.
What a miraculous God… ❤ ❤ ❤
Entering the Promised Land 
Susanne, Thank you for sharing the post on letting go. I thought of my own struggles. As a young child, I would throw temper tantrums. At age 7, I accepted the Lord Jesus as my Savior. I was then relieved to not be going to hell, but believed the lie that satan told me – that my Mother would disown me. My Mother was a Christian and so that did not happen. Soon after confessing Jesus, I realized that the temper tantrums had to stop. They lessoned but did not completely stop. In adult life I have throw a few adult temper tantrums. Hopefully that is all a thing of the past. Some years ago, I said, “Lord, I am your child, why can I not cast out this temper”. He said,”Because it is from me, you need to control it.” Then He brought to my thoughts that the saints are going to rule and reign with Him on the earth. I don’t know if I can express the remainder of the impression that I had, but I will try. Without the anger toward evil that reigning with Christ will require, we will not be prepared. I partly write this for you to judge whether I heard from God or not. My heart is to know and walk in the truth. If you say that I missed God, I will not be offended.
Love,
Pat Orr
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, dear Pat, what a burden for a child of seven!! So sad…
Temper tantrums inter alia seem to me being something that is deeply connected with our God-given personality. I think we cannot choose our character, but I am not sure, either, whether I am right here, my sister. I can only tell you that I had my first outburst of anger in my twenties and the second in my thirties. Before I seemed to be “a good girl” (although I wasn’t 😉 ). Actually, I appeared to be a polite, friendly, and loving person simply through continually suppressing my negative feelings from an early age on. That procedure was anything but healthy and when I finally got sick with bipolar disorder in 2000 for the very first time, I was really relieved by being able to let all my negative feelings out (though in an inappropriate, very offensive way).
As for controling those negative feelings, that worked for me as long as I was not very deeply offended. But if so, oh oh…
Pat, if you knew how often I listened to Satan and thought it was Jesus, you would truly be amazed. 🙂
However, since I made so many negative experiences after listening to the wrong voices, I asked the Lord to help me in those confusing times of insecurity so that I could judge the different voices I hear.
God pointed me to the fact that all good things come from Him and whenever He speaks all things are easily to discern because they are accompanied by His Light which brings along peaceful thoughts and joyful feelings, and whatever the condition we might be in, His unconditional love frees us to be ourselves – just the way we are. When God speaks, we know we are loved and we will gladly love Him back. Satan, instead, is a confuser who loves to make us feel guilty and angst-burdened. So why not rather listen to Jesus’ sweet voice that says,
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Mt 11:28-30 ESV) ?
LikeLike
This is great Susanne! The other day I was reading about a woman that didn’t get all bent out of shape when she was interrupted, but graciously accepted the interruption, and when the needs where met, went back to what she was doing being more inspired than before. She moved “among multiple worlds with ease and grace.” And as you quoted: “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly, Deborah!! Thank you for thoughtful reply!
I think I do know what you are speaking of here regarding that woman’s extraordinary state where she was able to accept any interruption (as coming from God) because she was completely in step with the Spirit (Gal 5:25). I experienced such periods in my life, too; some of them lasted for months, some for weeks, and some of them only for a few hours. That is a spiritually abundant life where God carries us through without our intervention. Because of His peace, love, and joy in our hearts [finally, the WHOLE fruit of the Spirit, Gal 5:22-23], we gladly do what we couldn’t do before.
Yet as for me, I realized as long as I could not fully accept that these blessings are exclusively a gift of God’s grace to which Susanne cannot add anything and which ought to be simply received, those blissfull periods had to stop, again and again. I hope and pray that I will be soon able to wholeheartedly accept that I cannot do a thing apart from God (Jn 15:5), that is, a thing which is truly good and springs from a pure heart that knows LOVE – only.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, Susanne I understand, and I forgot to mention that I totally relate to all you’ve said in your post (and your comment, too) — that’s why the woman I mentioned impressed me so much, because I would always like to move about like that. ❤ ❤ ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
XOXOXOXO
❤ ❤ ❤
🙂
LikeLike
Yes that is so very reality..I have had bad thoughts and feelings and for me to change them–forget it but just bask in his presence and you get overwhelmed with his miraculous energy and as the outcome==peace and thanks papa.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen, Kenneth. Perfect! 🙂
LikeLike
Susanne, I was blessed by your description of being interrupted when we want to do a certain thing or take a certain coarse or get such and such things accomplished in our planned out day. I also have become angry when this happens… Anger and self preservation is very destructive to abiding in God’s rest (see Hebrews ch. 4) and love when we become anxious over such things. Over the years I have kicked against these interruptions that seem to plague “the best laid plans of mice and men.” I had become driven (compulsive) in getting MY will done! This is not abiding in His rest or believing that all things are working together for our good by His great power.
More recently it has helped me to see that God has divine appointments for us each day that we can miss when we are determined to have OUR will be done. I have missed many an opportunity to fellowship with a brother or share the gospel or even just love on a hurting person when I was driven by a goal that I wanted to reach by the end of my day.
As for anger, yes that happens… it is part of that fallen Adamic nature that seeks to drive us. But it seems that God has even made a provision for that until we fully come into His rest (where true faith in HIM rules in our hearts). Paul wrote, “Be angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.”
(Ephesians 4:26-27 KJ2000). We are going to have things happen that are going to set us off. The question is what are we going to do with it? I blow up at my wife all too often because she doesn’t meet MY expectations. Now HERE is an opportunity to learn humility… I refuse to let the sun go down on my wrath… I deal with it once I get a chance to simmer down and apologize to her for my anger. If I do not, then the rest of the verse comes into play, “I give place to the devil,” to come in between us and do even greater damage. We can humble ourselves before the one we have offended or we can give place to the devil.
God would have us remain free of the sin of unforgiveness for it leads to bitterness and all sorts of mental and biological illnesses. As I read your blog I see that God is taking you through all manner of healings that each have to do with you forgiving people in your past that have done some very evil things to you that should never have happened to a girl or a woman. As each of these have come up, by His grace you have forgiven those offenders in your life. Some of them you have even prayed for and been shown by the Lord HIS mercy for them in their own captivities. He also wants THEM free. Watching you do this has added great meaning for me to Jesus’ words,
“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you, and persecute you; That you may be the children of your Father who is in heaven: for he makes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”
(Matthew 5:44-45 KJ2000)
May we pray for our enemies and those who have spitefully used and see the SON rise upon them and change THEIR lives as well. Great blog, my sister! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great comment, too, Michael. ❤ I am glad you mentioned the same Scripture I had on my mind (Eph 4:26-27, that is) and filled it with life.
Since I was always a person who loved outer harmony (not knowing that inner harmony is way more important), I couldn't stand it when I had a quarrel with someone and there was no reconciliation afterwards. In order to solve that problem – which always grieved me a lot – I often wrote apology letters and also apologized for things that were not my faults. Of course, I made a lot of mistakes as well and then apologies made sense. But over the years a sort of confusion about what was my own guilt and what was that of others arose in my mind. Alas, I could hardly discern one thing from another. It has only been lately that I have come to see the difference and that really sets me free.
While yesterday was God's Setting-Susanne-free-from-Anger-Day 😉 , today happen the same things regarding my fears and anxieties. Whoa, my brother, I feel there is a new life coming up right in front of my eyes!!! 🙂 Or in other words, the veil has been lifted, more and more…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Susanne, I also know this false guilt. I have been under some very controlling church personalities who could convince anyone that tried to call them on their errors that they were the ones in error and in rebellion! So I wore this guilt for their sins for years. It also caused me a lot of confusion especially when the Bible seems to tell us that we are to obey those who have rule over us!!! Well, the Lord finally showed me that these verses that SEEM to give church leadership a blank check in our lives were falsely translated by the King of England and his bishops (KJV Note: the RSVA corrected many of these verses) to get not only governmental power over the people, but to get ecclesiastical power over their souls and minds as well. Nowhere do the true scriptures give mere men in the church power to “rule over” the people of God!!! In fact it says the opposite!
“Likewise, younger men may be subject to the elder, yet all wear the servile apron of humility with one another, for God is resisting the proud, yet is giving grace to the humble.” (1 Peter 5:5 CLV – compare this to what the KJV did to this verse)
We are ALL to put on the humility of Christ and NEVER to lord over one another for God resists the proud. In many of today’s churches the most arrogant person in the congregations is usually the “pastor”, “bishop”, “apostle,” etc.! This is NOT Christ.
Susanne, I am soooo happy to hear that Jesus is continuing to set you FREE!!! No more explosive anger, fears or anxieties in your life… THAT is true freedom! May we ALL find such freedom from the fruit of our old wounds so that we can be led of the Spirit and walk in the humility and love of Christ with one another. Amen!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen, Michael. Great prayer! And thanks so much for your insightful remarks on church leadership!! Your and my “church” (cult) experiences were rather similar, weren’t they…
LikeLiked by 1 person