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I have just been pondering on why I don’t want to abandon my prayer habits for a longer time.

Admittedly, there are days when I have no strength to seek Him. Since I have been chronically ill for almost all my life, there are times when I am so weak that I need Him to (first) meet me through prayer. Nonetheless, today I have been wondering what might be the reasons that make me keep searching for always more of Him.

As I awoke with a headache, feeling nauseated, with abdominal cramps and fatigued [all symptoms are more or less chronic], my first thought was,

“My God, I need You!!!”

Of course, it would be wonderful to be healed by Him as well, but what I truly need more than being physically healed is to be assured of His permanent presence. To feel His comforting arms around me, His peace that eases my worried mind, and His loving touch that keeps my heart beating – for Him. Indeed, as long as I am focused on my problems, on bad circumstances, on everything that went wrong, goes wrong, and might go wrong in the future, I decide to jump on my old hamster wheel of thought habits, a “workout” that has never helped me before.

“Susanne, don’t you forget ever that it NEVER helps!!!” 😉

So why going on with continually thinking along the same patterns as I always did in the past? Where does the feeling of being alive again come from when my life simply feels like mere (painful) existence? The following three Scriptures highlight the way that leads to REAL LIFE.

“For thus says the Lord to the house of Israel: “Seek me and live.” (Amos 5:4 ESV)

“You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.” (Jn 5:39-40 ESV)

“Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (Jn 14:6 ESV)

To put it negatively, what will not help in finding spiritual life will be reading the Bible, for example. If we are in love and want to be with the one we love, we won’t keep on reading their letters unless we cannot be together for a certain time. Of course, if a loved one already died, we might want to read their letters again and again. However, as for Christ who wants to give us life abundantly (Jn 10:10), He is not dead – He is risen. Yes, the only One who can change our thoughts and feelings through His presence is HERE and NOW.
What won’t help us either is talking with other human beings and telling them about the one whom we love while he or she has been waiting for us to meet them. That would be an unnecessary distraction from the lover who alone can make us happy again.

Jesus promised that none of us will ever seek in vain.

“And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” (Lk 11:9-10 ESV)

As for opening the door into the unseen heavenly realm, I recently wrote a poem about it which I published on my poetry blog. If you like to read it, just follow this link http://susanneschuberth.wordpress.com/2014/10/08/the-beauty-within/.