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darkness, experience, healing power, Holy Spirit, John Wesley, light, love, manifestations, Satan, self, spiritual power, truth
The first letter to the Corinthians, chapter 12, verses 7-11 ESV reads as follows,
(7) To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.
(8) For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit,
(9) to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit,
(10) to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues.
(11) All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills.
[Emphasis added]
We see in the verses I just quoted above that there are several gifts with which God bestows His children, but only one of them enables us to discern whether all the other manifestations sprang from God’s Holy Spirit – or not. John Wesley wrote regarding 1 Cor 12:10,
“[…] The discerning – Whether men be of an upright spirit or no; whether they have natural or supernatural gifts for offices in the church; and whether they who profess to speak by inspiration speak from a divine, a natural, or a diabolical spirit.” [John Wesley’s Notes on the Bible]
Now I want to share with you on here how God helped me realize that there are indeed different kinds of spirits who are working their way through us human beings, from one to another, making us believe it is always God who works in us. I would like to call the following part of my testimony “The Temptation of Spiritual Gurudom” since that’s what it was for me – in the end, at least. Realizing how Satan tried to destroy God’s silent work in my heart through “loud” manifestations of any kind, made me eventually RUN – run back into God’s calming and comforting presence. In order to protect all persons involved, I decided to omit both the location and the year where and when these things really happened, so that only those who were with me will know.
Some years ago when I was abroad, I had some of the most overwhelming experiences with God and, also, some of the most disturbing and horrifying encounters with Satan. It would go beyond the constraints of a blog post if I tried to describe everything that I experienced back then. Here’s an excerpt of an email – which I changed a bit – that I wrote earlier this year when I shared a part of those experiences with someone else. It might show you how my encounters with God (and Satan!) – which were hidden for others – apparently affected other people as well – for better or for worse…only God knows.
It began as a woman, a female doctor, visited me in my hotel room. She told me that she had been swimming in the hotel’s swimming pool and that her foot had been injured severely [Note: It was at the weekend and we were near a small town – and at that moment there were no doctors except for her!]. Oh dear, her foot was so thick! I suggested to apply my homeopathic balm which could at least soothe the pain. She agreed and asked whether I could apply it. I did. “Hope it helps,” was all I said to her.
The very next morning, as I sat alone in the hotel foyer, she approached me quickly with another woman next to her. “Susanne, you healed me! My foot looks as if it had never been injured.” – “I cannot heal,” I replied, “surely, it was the balm.” – “No, I believe you healed me.”
Hmm………
The other woman who had experienced a stroke and also suffered from arthritis asked me whether I could lay my hands on her. I did it after I had doubtingly asked God if I should do it or not. Cautiously I told her, “If you find yourself better afterwards, then it must have been God because I can’t do such things.”
On and on the story goes.
The next woman suffered from multiple sclerosis. In her case I found myself sitting in the midst of some who wanted to witness what happened with her as I was laying my hands on her (shoulders, in that case). We closed our eyes and I realized that now there was so much power all around that others had been sucked into that power as well. A man right next to me said, utterly amazed, “I never thought that such things really happen!!”
Shortly afterwards, a woman stopped me on the stairs and told me that she had heard about my ability to look into others’ hearts and to offer the proper help they would need. I wondered who had told her such stuff and I denied being able to do those things. I can’t remember exactly what I told her then, but I remember that I felt God’s unconditional love and the deepest compassion possible.
Later in the evening, I was sitting with two men and, again, another woman at the dinner table together, as one of those men told us a dream he would dream and which confused and scared him that much. While he was talking, I saw a clear picture in my mind which I described him afterwards. He looked at me – stunned – and burst out, “How wonderful if someone can do what you can! Thank you!!” – “It is not my ability, I only shared what came to me at that very moment,” I answered.
If you are now inclined to think I was humble, you might be wrong. 😉 Actually, I was struggling a lot with the temptation of pride, the temptation to become someone in the center of admiration. I knew instinctively that God cannot use me in any way that was pleasing in His eyes as long as there is a SELF in me that needs something more than God. Therefore I believe it was the Holy Spirit who, finally, nudged me to pray,
“Dear God, if those manifestations have not been from You, please, let them stop.”
And lo and behold, afterwards all spiritual power to do anything was gone – completely. Thank GOD!!!
Michael said:
Oh, Susanne! How many people would have dared to pray what you did that day and dared to lose what you experienced in those few hours and fade again into obscurity? I also, over about a two year period in 1979 and 80, was empowered in many prophetic type manifestations… prophesy, dreams, interpretation of dreams, seeing into people’s hearts with words of knowledge, etc. Well, at the end of that I was dared by an older brother to ask God how HE saw me, instead of how I THOUGHT He saw me (as HIS man of the hour, blah, blah, blah!) and so I boldly prayed that God would show me! What He showed me in a vision was very deflating. In fact it was flat-out ugly! I was using His gifts to garner worship of His people to myself.
That started me praying that He would deal decisively with my flesh and kill that prideful thing that was using His gifts for its own gain. It was not long until He pulled the plug on me. Soon I was about as spiritual as a rock in the depths of the sea… cold and surrounded by darkness. This state lasted for 14 years! At first I went into deep depression as my physical world collapsed around me as well; joblessness, cut off from all my Christian friends, staring at bankruptcy, food shortage, and finally having to take a job on a desert island in Alaska, cut off from everything that I ever knew and found comfort in, including my wife and kids. At one point the depression and loneliness was so bad that I started to go catatonic, but He brought me back.
The point of all this is this… God had to kill that flesh in me so He could dare to use me the way HE wanted to manifest Himself through me and only WHEN He wanted to do so. For the most part I, like you, have lived a life of seclusion in a small town in the forests of Idaho, USA. Yes, I have a web presence, but it is kept small by Him so that He does not lose me to pride again. He has used me on a couple of occasions that were of HIS choosing to pray for people’s healing (which I failed at before when I had all that pride working in me) and HE did it! He has used me to speak right into people’s hearts often, but without fanfare. When people want me to “mentor them” it scares the hell out me and I run. What a change from years earlier when I thought that I was God’s answer to all that the church needed!
I am constantly reminded that HIS kingdom comes without outward manifestations, but is found in our innermost being and I am content to outwardly decrease so HE may increase in me… Like John the Baptist, I will fade into obscurity and Christ’s kingdom and government will shine forth and continue to grow, and that is the way it should me, my dear sister! I know that you agree. Thanks for sharing your heart with us all.
Love in Him, Michael
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Thanks so much for your great and honest comment, Michael!
I so hope that your (and my) testimony could help those who are earnestly praying for revival of the church and have not yet experienced its distorted form which might look like God’s doing, yet it isn’t because it draws people to people and not sinners to Christ, so that they might feel overwhelmed by a spirit of repentance only God can provide. Paul said,
“The coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all power and false signs and wonders, and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. Therefore God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false, in order that all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness.” (2 Thes 2:9-12 ESV)
Seeking God and loving the truth should be our primary goals. If God, then, after confirming His dominion in us still wants to use us as He wills, so be it. Keeping our spiritual eyes focused on Christ alone, we can finally say with our “older brother” Paul,
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Gal 2:20 ESV)”
In closing, I’d like to add that we often see the unseen spiritual powers behind ANY doing when we reflect upon the consequences later in people’s lives. In the beginning it might be difficult to discern right from wrong since Satan is a highly skilled imitator of God’s doing. If we see many changing their worldly life styles and growing in love toward their neighbors, we might assume that God was the initiator of a revival.
In His love for you,
Susanne
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Pat Orr said:
Thank you Susanne and Michael. My prayer is to know the Godly. As you have pointed out, Susanne, the real may not be God. Elijah knew when God was not in the whirlwind, but was in the still, small voice.
Oh, Father, grant that we discern You, and flee from the ungodly.
Love in Him,
Pat Orr
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
You are so welcome, Pat. 🙂
In fact, I always loved that story of Elijah because God proved its very message to be true. His voice is not loud at all. However, in the quietness of the heart, His speaking is louder than all that noise of the world we live in.
In my opinion, the godly are all those who fear God more than men. Not that they could have ever reached that godly condition on their own – it was God who gifted them with all things – but the Lord has become their ALL in ALL.
Love you in Him ❤
Susanne
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Michael said:
Susanne, well said! We will know something whether it is of God or not by the manner of its final outcome, its fruit. You and I have seen these “signs and wonders” churches end in chaos with many divorces. Why? Jesus said it quite clearly, “An evil and an adulterous generation seeks after a sign.”
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Yes, Michael, let us watch out for the FRUIT! Alas, we have seen countless divorces afterwards, indeed. Sooo saddening… 😦
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kenneth dawson said:
yea that’s right Sue–I have always found that the Father himself has the last say-so but you got to always examine everything first–assumptions can sure enough lead you astray.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Yup, let us forget the assumptions. Instead, may we be led by His Spirit only. Thanks so much for your comment, Kenneth! 🙂
Love,
Sue
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