Tags
divorce, experience, eyes of the heart, God's love, Jesus Christ, light, love, marriage, Paul Schuberth, peace, spiritual power, William Shakespeare
The description of a mystical experience I want to share with you today is very personal and I already wrote about it more than a year ago in an email to someone else. In contrast to all those other mystical experiences with God I wrote about before, that one included my husband Paul. In order to help you understand where I am coming from, I am giving you some more information about my personal life so that the whole experience itself might make more sense to you. Here is what I learned from God about how He sees marriage and particularly about how He sees us.
As some of you might remember, having read the first part of My Testimony, I had begun to struggle with bipolar depression beginning in summer 2000 after our family had left the Christian cult we had attended for more than 5 years. There were a few reasons why that mental disease could put a stranglehold on me several times until 2008 and one of them was that our marriage seemed to have come to its very end which was one of the most painful situations I/we had to deal with. One day as I had been pondering on the pros and cons of divorce in detail, I eventually asked the Lord what to do. Knowing the legalistic approach both of the RCC and the cult we had joined, I was very surprised to come to know a side of God which had been unknown to me before. At that time I was so insecure about what to do that I dared to ask God how He would deal with me if I really got divorced. I could not have been more amazed as Jesus said, “I will be with you whatever you do.”
Wow!!! Knowing the Scriptures regarding divorce rather well, I was overwhelmed by His answer. That it was really God who spoke to me became immediately clear because I suddenly knew that I trusted Him, esp. in these matters, without any reservation. Such a great love of God…..indeed, only having read the Bible, I would have never thought that God really IS love. From that point on as I was convinced that I could fully trust Him, I even dared to ask Jesus earnestly, “What would You do if you were in my place?” His simple answer was, “If I were you, I would stay.”
Having said THIS, I knew He had a future in mind I could not see at that very moment but only through the eyes of faith. And God was right, as always. 😉 He has the best perspective because He knows our past, presence, and future and He knows that He wants to give us good things – only. As a confirmation of what I just described above, I‘ll copy and paste now what my husband Paul and I experienced together.
There was one day about 14 years ago when we were both sitting in our home office at about two meters distance, as something happened neither of us would have expected to be possible at all. Paul was sitting with his back to two large windows and I was sitting on the couch opposite to him, looking directly into his eyes. As I had been gazing into them for quite some time, an almost indescribable occurrence became reality.
Paul’s bright blue eyes appeared more and more blurred from my view the more I tried to discern them. Instead, I felt from my inside a burning and vibrating fire arise, combined with a supernatural, extremely bright light which made everything vanish before my eyes – but Paul….. Finally, I couldn’t discern anything but the soft outlines of his body. Looking at Paul, all I could see was LIGHT. It was a both white and colorful light, flowing freely through him; it was both swiftly moving but restful at the same time. Simultaneously, an overwhelming LOVE was coming right out of me, directly through my eyes, pouring itself unto and into Paul. At that very moment I could comprehend everything he had ever suffered and I felt compassion for him beyond anything which is human.
After a few minutes the light slowly disappeared. The remainder was God’s deep peace combined with a deep understanding of who Paul really is, in His view. I was so overwhelmed after that “event” that I only cautiously tried to touch upon it. From hence I merely asked Paul, “What do you think has just happened to us?” – Paul answered, “I saw Jesus, looking right through your eyes into mine.”
Afterwards the following Scriptures took on scope because I had really seen the truth of them expressed here,
“No one after lighting a lamp puts it in a cellar or under a basket, but on a stand, so that those who enter may see the light. Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness. Therefore be careful lest the light in you be darkness. If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, it will be wholly bright, as when a lamp with its rays gives you light.” (Lk 11:33-36 ESV)
I do not think that Jesus spoke of our physical body here. Instead, He showed us that there is a place where we can see whether someone has been connected with The Light which is Christ or whether he is still in darkness. Yet one might also say,
Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Mmmhhhhh….. my dear sister. ❤ You take my breath away with your sweet comment.
May Jesus give you more of Himself than you are able to stand! 😉
I love you,
Susanne xoxo
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Q's Corner said:
I merely asked Paul, “What do you think has just happened to us?” – Paul answered, “I saw Jesus, looking right through your eyes into mine.”sanne, these words are what jumped out at me and arrested my thoughts, ”
Man girl that is so powerful, that it leaves me speechless! I want to respond and write something back, but am as of yet just plain speechless! WOW! WOW!
I needed to see this, thank you, Susanne.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
My dearest Susie ❤
You may know that I was also thinking of you while writing this testimony and I am so happy to hear that you have been touched. 🙂
I was also glad to see that God even caused you to make a typo. You may now say, “What??? God causes us to make mistakes?”
“Yes, He does.” 😀
What I am alluding to is that you unintentionally called me “Sanne” above which was my nickname in my early childhood. Since I never wrote about it before, who but God could know how much I loved to be called “Sanne”?
Your emphatic words touched ME very deeply, my dear sister! You’re most welcome to everything I can offer.
I love you,
Susanne xoxo
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Q's Corner said:
LOL!!! This is so funny to me! And yes you were right, I had NO Idea that I even made that TYPO! I normally reread what I write to correct any errors, I must have completely Spaced It! Thank God, this err in typing turned out to be a blessing in disguise, who could know, but God Himself!? What a pleasant surprise, thank you for drawing my attention to it, as it blessed and touched you; so has it also done so to me!!!
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
That is really funny, Susie! Our God is so humorous. Am so glad you were blessed, too. 🙂
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
What a coincidence, both 27 years (Paul and I in May this year)!
Yes, of course, dear Becky. Email me any time (you should have my email addy from my comments on your blog, I think). Looking forward to hearing from you! ❤
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Kenneth Dawson said:
Like that one person said in their comment–I’m speechless such a beautiful experience–I feel like saying that I would love it if people could see Jesus loving them thru me.
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Michael said:
I am with you on that, Kenneth, for sure.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Thanks, Michael. 🙂
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Thank you for your wonderful comment, Kenneth. 🙂
I am sure that people feel Jesus’ love in you for them, my dear brother. Actually, as for seeing Jesus in the eyes of another, there is always God’s intervention needed. He pours out His Spirit and He decides when He wants people to really see God in our eyes. It is always as if God pressed the toggle light switch and suddenly His light can be seen directly. There is nothing we can do about it in order to make it happen. But when it happens, it is like heaven on earth.
You are a great encouragement to me, Kenneth. Thank you once again!
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Michael said:
I think, dear Susanne, we become what we behold. If we focus on our success or our failures, we will not change because we are still focusing on ourselves. But that is not our hope…
“looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who… is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2 RSVA)
“Beloved, we are God’s children now; it does not yet appear what we shall be, but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.”
(1 John 3:2 RSVA)
Oh dear Father, give us eyes in our hearts that we might see your Son AS He IS! Amen.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
AMEN, dear Michael.
You were so right by saying,
“…we become what we behold. If we focus on our success or our failures, we will not change because we are still focusing on ourselves. But that is not our hope…”
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Anna Waldherr said:
This was very moving, Susanne. I do think the Lord sees us differently than we see ourselves. We often focus on the errors we’ve made, the flaws in our character, and the failures in our lives. But the Lord sees us in totality. He knows what our motives were, and how hard we tried. He knows the obstacles we faced, material and spiritual.
I have never been married, but your post reminded of something I learned in my legal career. The law was a true vocation for me, a calling. But an older lawyer warned me early on that I should be prepared for heartaches, and dry spells. He said there would be times I wanted even to leave the profession. The older lawyer urged me to be patient on those occasions, and wait for my love to return. Again and again, he was proven right.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Thank you so much for your kind words, dear Anna. ❤
Sharing your experiences you made in your lawyer carreer has been a very helpful confirmation for me. Thanks again!
As for the Lord seeing us differently, indeed, He does not even point to our failures. If I get aware of having fallen short of what I think I should have done or said, He nudges me to quickly run back into His loving arms and to forget everything that went wrong. No human love can provide this total acceptance and therefore I keep on running back to God where I receive that love I need for myself so that I can later give it to others (imperfectly, of course). If I take no time to be with Him before, you can forget me completely because then I am “empty” and cannot love anyone the way they need to be loved.
Thank you for your continued insightful and wise contribution, Anna! 🙂
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Michael said:
Yes, Susanne. It does not take long for the circumstances of life and screw-ups we make in our relationships with the ones we love to drain us of what love we have. Being able to spend time in our Daddy’s presence waiting on Him to recharge us and love on us is so important. You have been a great example to me of this. Pray for me if you would that I will find this as great a reality in my life as you have found it in yours. It seems that us guys don’t like to show ourselves weak in front of anyone, not even God. 😦
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Thank you, Michael. Of course, I will pray for you.
You said, “It seems that us guys don’t like to show ourselves weak in front of anyone, not even God.”
Yes, it might be a male “thing” although many Christian women do not know, either, how much spiritual power comes from praying to God, that is, from spending time alone with Him away from other people. I do that at least two times daily and if I have enough time several hours (that is better than any vacation 😉 ) and I am glad that my family accepts my prayer habits without reservation because they know I am a different woman when I have spent some time in the presence of God.
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Michael said:
Susanne, I covet your prayers in this matter of effectual prayer in which I can feel the presence of God. Thank you so much!
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
You have my prayers, Michael, you have them.
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Pat Orr said:
Susanne, thank you for the post. I have been seeking the Lord on His glory. Romans 3:23 says that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. We stress as a church that only Jesus can take care of the sin problem. The scriptures and I totally agree with that. However, I have become very hungry to not come short of the glory of God. I ponder Colossians 1:27. Christ in you, the hope of glory. Truly, without Christ in me, there is no hope of glory for me. Titus 2:13 speaks of the blessed hope of the appearing of Jesus Christ. Somehow, it would seem to me, that Christ in us, the hope of glory is also present in His appearing. That does not take from the fact that he appeared to you and Paul. It adds to the blessed hope.
Looking for Him,
Pat Orr
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Michael said:
Pat, I hope it is okay that I reply to you on this on Susanne’s blog.
YES!!! You have got it! The word “sin” means “to fall short.” All of us have fallen short of Christ in us, the hope of the glory of the Father in His creation. But we are called up INTO His glory as we abide IN the Son and not in ourselves. Too many Christians are still trying to “be good Christians” when only Jesus can be Christ in us.
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20 KJ2000). Notice that even our faith is OF Christ. It is ALL about Him, not what we can do to be saved or keep ourselves saved. We die and HE lives in us. It is that simple.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
You’re welcome, dear Pat. I am glad that and how Michael already replied to you. 🙂
As for the ongoing sanctification process, I can only say that the more sin has been killed in us, the more glory is and will be revealed in us as well, even in this lifetime. But all happens by God’s grace since we cannot achieve anything apart from Him.
Love in Him,
Susanne
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
That was really sweet, Lloyd. Thank you! 🙂
Yes, God blessed us both that much. Paul has often warned others who wanted to get too quickly divorced and has told them that they should not hurry with it. If we have patience and seek God’s help, all things are eventually possible.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Rejoicing with you, my sweet sister! 🙂
Just found your second email to me this morning…reading it right now… 😉
Susanne xx
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jacqui said:
What can I say 🙂 ….. when God moves…. usually when we are at our wits end He swoops in with His mighty wings! xx
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
AMEN!!!
Very well said, Jacqui! 🙂
Much love,
Susanne xx
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
That was great! Thank you so much, Michael!! 🙂
Indeed, all “my” victories have come from Him alone since without Him I am and have nothing.
May His peace be with you too – ALWAYS.
Your Susanne in Him
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Michael said:
Thanks for reminding me of this wonderful experience you shared with your husband, Paul, Susanne.
Oh, Father, please continue to purify our hearts so that people may clearly see your Son in us for your glory. Amen.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
You’re very welcome, Michael. 🙂
Amen to your prayer!
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Fred Thoren said:
One of the scriptures that came to mind was When Jesus talked about Living water flowing from us. I don’t remember where that it at in the bible but it is what came to mine.
Also I thought that scripture you posted was for us to stay away from darkness. Like porn, watching people do evil, and the like.
Any way thanks for the info.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
You’re welcome, Fred. I think you meant the following verses.
Rivers of Living Water
37 On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink.
38 Whoever believes in me, as6 the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’”
39 Now this he said about the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were to receive, for as yet the Spirit had not been given, because Jesus was not yet glorified. (John 7:37-39 ESV)
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Fred Thoren said:
Yes that is it. Thank you for finding it.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
No prob. My pleasure, Fred.
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