Tags
being born again, darkness, Evelyn Underhill, experience, following Jesus, illumination, pain, psychology, purification, sanctification, the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit, unbelief, unification with God, walking by faith
If there was another way to encounter the Living God and to stay in His holy and pure presence 24/7 here on earth and eternally too, I would have immediately said, “No, thank you, I am content as it is, no more death in my life needed.” Well, having been plunged into the second part of the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit, in fall 2013, yet without interruption only one year ago, I today gave in after so many struggles with and against God since I saw it makes no sense to pray to God that I might have it my own way any longer. That means, if this death will continue to last for years in which I neither have any interest in God nor in spiritual things and in which God gives me more and more sickness and pain, then so be it. Period.
In order to display a bit what I am speaking of here, I offer you an excerpted description of that mystical dying process below. Michael Clark from A Wilderness Voice brought that article to my attention and I found myself in it perfectly described. Indeed, it was not all fun to read it but the truth hurts at times, doesn’t it? Now here’s one part of the text from Evelyn Underhill’s book “Mysticism” [1911]. If you like to read more of it, see http://www.sacred-texts.com/myst/myst/myst20.htm.
IX. The Dark Night of the Soul
But the mystic, like other persons of genius, is man first and artist afterwards. We shall make a grave though common mistake if we forget this and allow ourselves to be deflected from our study of his growth in personality by the wonder and interest of his art. Being, not Doing, is the first aim of the mystic; and hence should be the first interest of the student of mysticism. We have considered for convenience’ sake all the chief forms of mystical activity at the half-way house of the transcendental life: but these activities are not, of course, peculiar to any one stage of that life. Ecstasy, for instance, is as common a feature of mystical conversion as of the last crisis, or “mystic marriage” of the soul: whilst visions and voices—in selves of a visionary or auditive type—accompany and illustrate every phase of the inward development. They lighten and explain the trials of Purgation as often as they express the joys of Illumination, and frequently mark the crisis of transition from one mystic state to the next.
One exception, however, must be made to this rule. The most intense period of that great swing-back into darkness which usually divides the “first mystic life,” or Illuminative Way, from the “second mystic life,” or Unitive Way, is generally a period of utter blankness and stagnation, so far as mystical activity is concerned. The “Dark Night of the Soul,” once fully established, is seldom lit by visions or made homely by voices. It is of the essence of its miseries that the once-possessed power of orison or contemplation now seems wholly lost. The self is tossed back from its hard-won point of vantage. Impotence, blankness, solitude, are the epithets by which those immersed in this dark fire of purification describe their pains. It is this episode in the life-history of the mystic type to which we have now come. […]
We may look at the Dark Night, as at most other incidents of the Mystic Way, from two points of view: (1) We may see it, with the psychologist, as a moment in the history of mental development, governed by the more or less mechanical laws which so conveniently explain to him the psychic life of man: or (2) with the mystic himself, we may see it in its spiritual aspect as contributing to the remaking of character, the growth of the “New Man”; his “transmutation in God.”
(1) Psychologically considered, the Dark Night is an example of the operation of the law of reaction from stress. It is a period of fatigue and lassitude following a period of sustained mystical activity. […] Each great step forward will entail lassitude and exhaustion for that mental machinery which he has pressed unto service and probably overworked. When the higher centres have been submitted to the continuous strain of a developed illuminated life, with its accompanying periods of intense fervour, lucidity, deep contemplation—perhaps of visionary and auditive phenomena—the swing-back into the negative state occurs almost of necessity.
This is the psychological explanation of those strange and painful episodes in the lives of great saints—indeed, of many spiritual persons hardly to be classed as saints—when, perhaps after a long life passed in faithful correspondence with the transcendental order, growing consciousness of the “presence of God,” the whole inner experience is suddenly swept away, and only a blind reliance on past convictions saves them from unbelief. The great contemplatives, those destined to attain the full stature of the mystic, emerge from this period of destitution, however long and drastic it may be, as from a new purification. It is for them the gateway to a higher state. But persons of a less heroic spirituality, if they enter the Night at all may succumb to its dangers and pains. This “great negation” is the sorting-house of the spiritual life. Here we part from the “nature mystics,” the mystic poets, and all who shared in and were contented with the illuminated vision of reality. Those who go on are the great and strong spirits, who do not seek to know, but are driven to be.
(Attention, below are three sentences which I found further below in that text which really hit me.)
Now “trials,” taken en bloc, mean a disharmony between the self and the world with which it has to deal. Nothing is a trial when we are able to cope with it efficiently. Things try us when we are not adequate to them: when they are abnormally hard or we abnormally weak.
Oh my, reading that last paragraph above, I thought it must be a wonderful state of maturity when we are able to cope with ANY trial we might have to go through. Certainly, as long as something that belongs to our old man hurts as God, or anyone He uses, pinches us, we find ourselves not yet at the point of no return, i.e., at the peak of the sanctification process which is described in the following Scripture.
“Who shall ascend the hill of the Lord? And who shall stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully. He will receive blessing from the Lord and righteousness from the God of his salvation. Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek the face of the God of Jacob.” (Ps 24:3-6 ESV)
I knew it was quite a long excerpt I had chosen and I really wanted to keep that article way shorter, but I thought since I do not write that often on the internet at the moment, I dare to publish it kind of lengthily, though. 😉
Every blessing to all of you ❤
Susanne
Ken Dawson said:
Yea Sue the reality hurts but none the less we have to be dead to trying to run our own show and when we do try to run it we are just letting satan run it–God is the only being in this universe who knows how to live life right.and Jesus is the example–and look what it cost Him–however the end justifies the means.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Very well said AND encouraging as well, dear Ken. Thank you so much! 🙂
Yes, it is the end that justifies the means. So true!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ken Dawson said:
I learned the principle back in 2002 when my 48 year old brother in law was in a hospice dying of cancer and I was staying with him–I was reading a book and one day Father said to me–Ken get out a piece of paper and draw on it a triangle–at the top put Me and on the other two sides on the bottom put humanity on one side and satan on the other–now here is the lesson–you cannot trust satan and on the other side you cannot trust humanity–at least not 100% because they are too easily deceived—but Me you can always trust because I Am who I AM–I got it straight from the horses mouth and im not going to argue with Him!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Michael said:
Dear Susanne,
It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of our Living God. I went through 14 years of being totally “unplugged” by God. It was preceded by an intense time of exercising the spiritual gifts in a prophetic way and I thought I was “God’s man of the hour” and was on the make. Then one day God showed me how HE saw me and I cried out for Him to kill this false god in me that I had become. You quoted the following from “Mysticism” that describes my experience…
Oh, what a difference.. I started out wanting to BE KNOWN, not so much to know or to be. Then in that dark night I sought to know. I wanted to find out what had happened to me and why certain men in the church could get away with misusing their authority with impunity — did the Bible support such a thing? Finally, at about the 12 year point I quit kicking against them and against God for letting this abuse happen to me and yielded to Him as God and crawled down of my judge’s bench where I was not only judging men, but Him for making them. I finally prayed, “God, I want to bury the hatchet. I confess my sin of judging YOU. You are God and I am NOT! If you want to leave me in this spiritual death and no man’s land between the world and your kingdom, so be it. I am yours to do with as you will. Amen.”
Susanne, as you know there is no hocus-pocus or magic to getting God to change His mind or “make it all better.” In my case He was answering my prayer to kill this “spiritual pride” in me and only HE knows when the job is done for HE looks into our hearts where even we can not see. Recently I prayed that “dangerous prayer” once again,
I don’t know what is coming next, but I can tell you that I am with you as much as I can be and embrace your suffering and deadness as my own. We will come out of this on the other side bright shining as the sun, that is a fact. For when Jesus appears we shall be like Him for we shall finally see HIM AS HE IS. Amen, come Lord Jesus… IN us.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Thanks for your rich comment and for your testimony of your dark night experience, Michael. I am glad that you are with me in all those sufferings. Thank you so much for being YOU!
And if we can’t experience that other bright side in this life on earth, but only later, then so be it, too. Amen.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Thanks for sharing this testimony with me, Ken. Great lesson, indeed!
LikeLiked by 1 person
totellthetruth1962 said:
Now “trials,” taken en bloc, mean a disharmony between the self and the world with which it has to deal. Nothing is a trial when we are able to cope with it efficiently. Things try us when we are not adequate to them: when they are abnormally hard or we abnormally weak.
This so resonate with me. I felt like a total walking zombie for over 3 yrs. I felt utterly abandoned. Dearest Susanne when I think of what I went through at that time, I could literally cry. I almost went into a assisted living facility. Even looked at a few and then said No! I have to make it. I wish I could reach out and utterly hug you tight. It was the worst of the worst experience of my life. And then just a few months ago I meet you and Michael and you helped restore me. I guess that is the reason I kept rattling on forever with both of you because I finally found at least 2 people that has basically had me bursting with love again.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Anna Waldherr said:
I don’t know that I will ever attain the realm of which you and Michael speak, Susanne. If I do, it will be through God’s efforts alone. Not mine. I can only adopt Isaiah’s words, “Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a [woman] of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips…”
I have not seen the Lord of Hosts. My corrupt heart longs for Him, but I know only the Garden of Gethsemane. I don’t mean to suggest that I am a great martyr or a martyr of any kind. I mean that the suffering are all around us. If I see His face, I see it in theirs. If I commune with Him, it is in breaking bread with them.
Yet the statement that the end justifies the means I understand well. I have wrestled with that principle all my life. For me, it is central to the issue of faith.
If there is anything lawyers know, it is that earthly ends do NOT justify the means. It is a fatal error mankind has fallen into since that first garden.
But God asks us to trust Him despite the travesties we encounter on this earth – the children born without limbs, the vital cancer and ALS victims wasting away before our eyes, the poor who make no progress after lifetimes of effort.
And His silence. That silence which torments us.
However, Christians have an enormous advantage. We know that from the seed comes the rose. After darkness comes light. And after death, Resurrection.
Whether we get to see the light in this life or not, we will see it in the next. For most, that is their only consolation. But it is enough.
May God’s love sustain you.
Much love,
Anna ❤
LikeLiked by 3 people
Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Dear Anna,
The fact that you know that we may reach that realm on God’s efforts alone reveals your wisdom and experience with God. Actually, even NOT fighting againt God any longer has been God’s work, not mine (and Michael’s prayers who felt I needed them at a certain time yesterday). I cannot tell you whether I start fighting against God again or not since it is exclusively His power that pulls me through that dark, dry, and unpleasant land.
Of course, it has been God’s touch also, when you see His face in those who are suffering; otherwise you were not interested in them.
HIS silence is TORMENT. YES!
Thank so much for your compassion, my dear sister!
Much love ❤
Susanne
LikeLiked by 3 people
totellthetruth1962 said:
HIS silence is TORMENT. YES! That is one reason I begged Psalm 51. Take not thy Holy Spirit from me. Purge me Oh Lord. I had lost all desires of the things of this world. All I wanted was for God to come back! I was begging for mercy and forgiveness and one of the last time I was in the hospital 2 patients who knew nothing about me said some pretty profound things to me. And I clung to those statements for dear life until even that diminished.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Well, as for me, I had only a few visions of the greatness of God between 2000 and 2009. All other visions I had before, during the period, and afterwards had mainly to do with my future life back then. God’s Spirit showed me both in dreams and visions what had to happen later to me. I cannot say that I understood any of these visions unless they were finally fulfilled in my own life.
I recall that John of the Cross wrote about the highest level of visions which is the spiritual vision, that means, our senses are not involved. In this case we do not see a picture or a three-dimensional situation before our inner eyes. However, our spiritual senses suddenly know doubtlessly that God revealed something to us which no one on earth could ever take away from us. And the best thing about it, Satan cannot deceive us here. As long as we rely on our senses and on what we feel or not feel, Satan is always ready for battle and gives us other visions in which he presents himself as God or Jesus. From hence, I am glad that I have no visions any longer.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Amen, He will continue to change us until we are Christ-like.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Anna Waldherr said:
Susanne, I came across a post I thought you may find helpful. It is called, “Twelve benefits the Lord gives during times of spiritual darkness” by Dave Malnes. You can find it on Witness Well at http://witnesswell.net/2014/12/11/twelve-benefits-the-lord-gives-during-times-of-spiritual-darkness/.
Love,
A. ❤
LikeLiked by 3 people
Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Thank you very much for this link, dear Anna! 🙂 In fact, it was very helpful for me! I particularly liked #1, #11 and #12 and I decided to copy and paste them below.
1. We shed an old skin
We set aside a time to process or mourn unfulfilled dreams of the life we had planned for ourselves and granted new eyesight. We then discover that God has placed in our hands the life that He has planned for us. God uses a time of darkness as a signal that we have reached the end of one stage in our life and that He has uniquely prepared us for the next stage.
10. List all your blessings.
Write all your blessings down on paper. It’s a humbling exercise.
11. Be still before God and listen
Maintain a listening ear before God. Most of the time in prayer, we do all of the talking. Perhaps set aside some time where we will say, “O.K. God, I’m going to shut up now. Tell me what’s on Your mind and I will listen.” It is during times of solitude and silence that God is most audible.
Indeed, these were the things God has been showing my lately, but I felt I could not find any real rest in Him; prayer seemed almost impossible. I felt always like having to do this and that and so on. Maybe, you know what I mean… 🙄 Today I finally got away in the afternoon and sought some rest at Rothsee lakeside through swimming and relaxing in the shade until a thunderstorm chased me away. During the last weeks I have been searching for God more intense than before, yet He lets me wait. I knock at His door, and if He gives the strength to endure, so I will keep knocking until He opens up. Also, I know that I still have many blessing and gifts. He did not take them away by making the sky gray or black at times. He is always the same. And God is good! 🙂
It is not so much that God is absent in the dark night of the soul – at least in my case. It is rather that His presence is felt only “darkly”. I know He is in me and around me, yet there are no good feelings left (no bad ones, either, at times 😉 ). This is simply a time of waiting until He shows up again…
Thanks again for the link to this special blog post, my sister! 🙂
Love ❤
Susanne
LikeLiked by 2 people
totellthetruth1962 said:
Thank you Anna. I too just read it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Michael said:
Waiting is NOT doing, wouldn’t you say? Waiting is just that WAITING, standing still.
Israel refused to wait, to be quiet and rest in God…
For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” And you would not, but you said, “No! We will speed upon horses,” therefore you shall speed away; and, “We will ride upon swift steeds,” therefore your pursuers shall be swift.
(Isaiah 30:15-16 RSVA)
Yes, Susanne, “Here we STAND (or sit), we can do no other” until HE moves us.
Michael 🐻
LikeLiked by 2 people
Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Waiting is waaay more difficult than not doing anything to which we are used to, I find, Michael. Even though I decide to NOT do anything, my mind keeps running like a hamster in his wheel until God sets me free and gives me His peace. Sometimes it is VERY exhausting to wait on God… 😛
Thanks for your encouraging words, my brother!
Susanne 🐱
LikeLiked by 2 people
Michael said:
Yes, Susanne, so true. In our fallen nature, waiting on God is the last thing we want to do. We would rather do something… ANYTHING! We think of ourselves as “Human-doings” not Human-beings.” We must learn to totally wait upon the Lord if we want Him to give a whole NEW strength to live by and then we will be able to mount up with eagles wings and not until. It is IN HIM ALONE that we live and move an have our being. Thank you dear sister for being YOU. ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
🙂 Thank you for being YOU, too, Michael!
It is truly interesting why we are not called human doings instead of beings… makes me wonder… 🙄 … Maybe God wanted us to think about it when He allowed this specific term (human being) to come into being? 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
totellthetruth1962 said:
Yes I had a hard time with just sitting and if I should nap during that ordeal I had a panic attack because I felt like I had to be doing something. I was soooooooo weak! But forced to keep doing things for my family such as babysitting. But in November of 2013 I was forced into the world with no home but I became stronger. At first it was not pleasant but I could see the whole picture. It was as if God was saying it’s time to get out of that comfort zone. I felt happier, and freer and yet uncertain.
LikeLiked by 2 people
totellthetruth1962 said:
Certainly, there are always a few people on earth who have experienced similar things we did. But sometimes God lets us wait until we see that we are not completely alone,
Yes I have to agree. Wow! Since it was You and Michael that was the first to explain what it was that I went through. I seem to can’t get enough from you and Michael.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Michael said:
Susanne, back when you wrote this blog we seemed to be in an extended period of spiritual darkness. It is so good to be out of those long periods of darkness and to be in the shorter cycles of death and life, darkness and light once again.
I was trying to explain where we have been more recently as an ellipse with one end of the oval elevated and the other end of it down. The lower end plunged into darkness and the upper end into fantastic spiritual light. As we walk together we travel on this spiritual ellipse and lately we have enjoyed such great freedom and light in the love of God… three or four days of it… Wow, a new record! 🙂
I try to not think of what is ahead, but only to rejoice in what we have been experiencing lately. It is funny, though, how Father has been showing us some wonderful heavenly truths and experiences, but has not let us publish them. This walk He has us on reminds me of an old rock song by the Byrds taken from the Book of Ecclesiastes…
“Turn! Turn! Turn!”
To everything – turn, turn, turn
There is a season – turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything – turn, turn, turn
There is a season – turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together
To everything – turn, turn, turn
There is a season – turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing
To everything – turn, turn, turn
There is a season – turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it’s not too late!
Paul wrote something about this cycle of the cross saying,
“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:11-13, KJ2000)
May Christ keep you in HIS strong arms forever, Susanne. 🐻
LikeLiked by 1 person
Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Excellent comment, Michael. Thank you very much!
Indeed, we never know what lies ahead of us. I cannot count how often I was wrong about having left the darkest parts of the dark night of the soul behind me. Was it hundreds or even thousands of times already? 😉
I do love your comparison with the ellipse above. Makes a lot of sense to me! And I love these lyrics too. ⭐
May Christ keep you always and draw you ever closer to Himself, Michael. 🐱
LikeLiked by 1 person