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darkness, experience, God's love, joy, light, love, peace, psychology, rest, thought life
The more we dare to freely admit before God how our real heart condition is and who we really are, the more we will be able to let other people into our hearts as well. The more we understand that we are truly loved without strings attached, the more we will long to show others how much they are loved too.
Indeed, I had an interesting day with God today. Whatever I did and whatever I thought, as soon as I tried to reason away those thoughts of which I thought they were not “Christian”, it did not work any longer. Thank God!! Some might wonder now what I am speaking of here… Well, for instance, as I was biking this afternoon, I saw a woman whom I did not know in a village about 8 miles away from Fürth. She was not doing anything extraordinary but walking on the sidewalk. Immediately, as I felt a judgmental thought about her coming up in my mind, I tried to argue it away as usual with some converse statements that seemed to be more loving to me. Actually, that was the way I used to loudly speak about other people, too. However, those judgmental thoughts that did not come from my mind’s reasoning had always been there in my heart as well, as I clearly saw today. Although I never uttered them, I could not understand other people who did and I for one judged them for doing so. Pheeew! You see I had some of those notorious logs in my eye of which I wrote on here lately. So, what to do?
The solution was easier than one could have ever imagined. It was clear to me that feelings that spring from my heart can’t be removed by my seemingly “sound” thoughts alone since I had tried the method of “positive thinking” for quite some time in the past and it did not work at all. If it had worked, I would have never needed God’s Spirit to change me. Well, to cut a long story short, whenever I felt some of those unnerving and judgmental thoughts popping up in my mind today, I simultaneously felt God nudging me to let them be there and accept them. That was new to me, at least regarding Christian matters since I had read in psychological works and in Eastern meditation literature about that before. I also remember that it worked for a short time when I had practiced ZEN mediation that I felt relieved for a certain time. But I needed hours to get into such a condition which only lasted for a few minutes. That was exhausting!! 😛 How much easier it was with God today. In a nutshell: Bad thought arises, God says, “Let it be,” and I have been plunged into deep peace and joy, simply because of doing what God said. Wow!!! Who would have thought that being changed by God includes accepting the bad side in us? Were we not taught that we should HATE what we see in ourselves? Although I do not like it yet when I get aware of bad thoughts, I now know when I expose them before God, He will remove them and give me good things instead of that Old Adam and Eve stuff. ALL GOOD THINGS COME FROM ABOVE… Now I know it, thank God! 🙂
Ha! In closing, I just had a sort of reckless thought. As God in the OT and Jesus in the NT told us to love our neighbors as ourselves, have we ever thought about the possibility that this love includes the evil we might see in us and others? Although I know that I will never love sin anymore because of His Spirit in me, I know that I need a completely new heart that has been enabled to love as God loves. And I believe I won’t get it before I accept the depravity of my own heart just as I accept it in others. Replace acceptance with “love” and you have the second commandment which is just as important as the first one – without which the second can’t be fulfilled ever.
For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Gal 5:14 ESV)
Brothers and sister, why not becoming spiritual law fulfillers by accepting the dark side of life in us which will sooner or later certainly be enlightened by God?
Michael said:
Great article!
If our Daddy loves me as I am.. why shouldn’t I, knowing that He knows my end from the beginning and is not hung up on the me that is still in the process of getting there. Beating ourselves up for being “human” only puts our thoughts and focus on ourselves. This is self defeating! He has promised that HE would keep us in perfect peace if we keep our minds on Him.
Any form of self-absorption is still self-centered-ness and not abiding in HIS love. To abide in His love is to not only love Him because He first loved us, but to love ALL whom HE loves and He so loved the whole world that He sent His son to die for everyone in it. I think that in your case of feeling negative toward that woman you saw was a moment when your thoughts were led away from Him. The challenge when that happens is to reach out and take those wandering thoughts captive again and focus back on our loving Father and His wonderful Son and pray that HE lets us see that person as HE does.
Thanks so much for your honest sharing with us, dear Susanne and the light He has given you.
Michael 🐻
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Thank you very much for the encouragement, dear Michael! 🙂
Very insightful comment! It is so true that there is only self-focus or being focused on Christ. There is nothing in between. Well, I need to admit that I am not that good at taking my thoughts captive, honestly, I never succeeded. As in all things, I need His help; He is the One who shows me when I have been captured by the wrong thoughts and who also frees me to look back at Him again.
You’re most welcome as to my honest sharing, dear Michael!
Susanne 🐱
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Michael said:
You are welcome, dear sister! Paul wrote, “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God– not because of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:8-10 RSVA)
It is all by grace!!! We are saved by His grace, made into new creatures by His grace, and do works that are HIS doing by grace! Oh, what a great salvation! All we can do is believe and rest in HIS work in us and love HIM for it!
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
That was so very well said, dear Michael. Could not be said better! Thank you, my brother.
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Ken Dawson said:
Wow I like it–reminds me of a quote from T A Sparks—Oh how we need to be humble and teachable to be constantly crying out to God that He would look in mercy upon our native ignorance to lighten our darkness–to bring us into the counsels of His Spirit so that we might know the things He is seeking to do in the earth and we might co-operate with Him.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Wow! Dear Ken, that was a great quote you shared on here! Thanks a bunch for doing so!! 🙂
“Native ignorance” – Ha! Sooo true!!! At least regarding those things the Lord continually reveals in my own heart. UGH! 😛
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Kennth Dawson said:
Yes Sue I think your opening paragraph says it exactly–when we realize how naturally ignorant we are of Gods divine way of living life and we face up to it and say to Daddy I can’t help it Lord then He will say to us–Yes I know all about your limitations and how you have been poisoned by the devil but lean on me and together we will walk through this and I will be pleased with your trusting reliance upon Me.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Mmmhhh… that was beautifully worded, Ken! ⭐
Let’s lean on Him and He will be pleased with us! 🙂
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Mia said:
Dearest Suzanne
Oh, I know exactly how you felt when you had that thought. I used to condemn myself relentlessly whenever I had a nasty thought. I found freedom from those guilt and condemnation feelings the day our Papa revealed to my heart that I was in the same position that Paul was when he lamented that he wanted to keep the law in the inner man, so it was not him, but sin lurking in him that was the cause of his covetousness. I had to find freedom like Paul did to know that there was therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ. I had to realize that the one who sins, derives what he does from the devil, the spirit at work in the sons of disobedience (1 John 5:9, Eph.2:2). Jesus revealed to my innermost heart that He was now the Spirit within me and I was no longer a slave of satan, the cause of all sin. All I have to do when that defeated foe is shooting me with his fiery arrows, roaring like a lion to my heart how evil I am, is to submit to our Papa, resist the devil and the lion became a toothless one!! Oh, what freedom.
Lots of love XX
Mia
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Thanks for sharing your wise words that spring from your own experience, dear Mia! 🙂
Indeed, I felt no condemnation because of any sin for about seven years now, that is, since I received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. My problem is not so much that I have such thoughts since I am human, the problem is more that I see the necessity of receiving a completely NEW heart from God so that only pure things are attractive to be thought over.
In fact, the dark night of the soul (spirit) from which all my experiences derive and about which I write on here and on my poetry blog is something that has happened to me so unexpectedly. Having gone through the second part of it now for more than one year as God renews my spirit and frees it from the authority of the old self, I have come to realize that it is (partly) indeed a horrible experience as for example John of the Cross in his book (“The Dark Night of the Soul” – Part 2) confirmed.
But submitting to our Papa is ALWAYS most certainly the best idea, no doubt about that, dear sister! ❤
Much love
Susanne xoxo
PS
Ha! I was just reminded that T.A. Sparks wrote about that too. If you have time and are interested, I shared it recently here https://enteringthepromisedland.wordpress.com/2015/07/09/the-crisis-from-death-to-life/.
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Michael said:
As for the blood of the Lamb placed on the doorpost and the blood on the ear, when an indentured servant had completed his time of service and he wanted to remain in that household as a member of the family the master would take him to the doorpost of entrance and put his earlobe against the post and pierce it with an awl and place a ring in the earlobe to signify that he would from then on be subject to the master. Of coarse the ear being purified by the blood signifies anointed hearing.
As for the blood on the right thumb, you can not grasp things without your adipose thumb. It takes the blood of Christ and His Spirit in us to grasp what God wants us to understand… anointed understanding as well as works.
And did you know that with your big toe missing, you have a hard time keeping your balance when you walk? So the blood of Christ cleanses our walk so that we walk as He walks, balanced by the Spirit of God.
God thus the blood placed on the ear, the thumb and the big toe signified how the blood of Christ was poured out that we might walk as the sons of God.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Thanks so much for your insightful explanation, Michael.
To be completely honest, there are some stories of the OC
I never liked that much and one of them was where it is described how to pierce a bondservant’s ear. 😛
Nonetheless, your contribution was very helpful.
😉
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Michael said:
It seems that God piercing our natural hearing so we might hear the voice of the Spirit can be painful and gruesome process as well. I am sure that that process you speak of in the Old Testament has some types in it that apply in the New Covenant as well. I am glad you found what I shared to be helpful because it did not come from reading what others taught, but from the Spirit as I was writing. Until today, I always wondered why the blood was put on Aaron’s ear, thumb and big toe. 🐻
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Yes, you are right, Michael, it was quite painful to get used to discerning His voice from the “blah blah” of carnal man. It meant accepting the spiritual pain to reject what we had believed before when we trusted in men instead of trusting in God’s direct leading through His anointing.
I know that you write what the Spirit told you, my brother, no doubt about that! 🐱
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Michael said:
Thanks Susanne!
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
You’re welcome, Michael! 🙂
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Michael said:
😀
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Anna Waldherr said:
Though we may view ourselves as devoted to God, we attempt all too often to “hide” our darker and more selfish thoughts and attitudes from Him (as if we ever could). Only when we take ownership of those thoughts and attitudes can God begin to address them. Till then, we are merely borrowing Adam’s fig leaf, rather than confessing our very real shortcomings. Honestly acknowledging our shortcomings (bad thoughts, etc.), in the way you describe, seems me a step toward ultimate forgiveness.
With love,
Anna ❤
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Dear Anna,
The example with the fig leaves fits here perfectly! Alas, it seems to be our old nature that tries to hide before God, still. Although I am sure He loves us unconditionally, it would be easier to look “a bit better” when confronted with His eyes, wouldn’t it?
Love ❤
Susanne
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