Tags
Becky Johnson, darkness, dying to self, exhortation, experience, light, Oswald Chambers, pain, the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit, the new self, the old self
I have been struggling a lot with dying-to-self pains lately. For those who wonder how that might feel, it is as if your inmost being (mainly heart and belly region) is getting burned after one or more flashes of lightning had struck you. Whenever God fills me surprisingly with His light, it often occurs as flashes of bright light I can see moving very swiftly from head to toe through my whole body. And only a few hours later the pain begins. Just lately I have begun to sense an increasing fire in my bones that causes both intense pains for the old self, just as the new self is irresistibly drawn toward the Eternal God, away from all that is created. Although it is extremely painful to lose all those natural attachments to which we might have been used for decades, there is an invisible power and an indescribable love that surpasses all understanding.
However, this cannot be felt with our natural five senses but only with our awakened spiritual five senses. Before we get there, we must die to everything that once caused all our natural fears which are common to all human beings. Futhermore, nostalgic feelings regarding past events die away gradually. Everything that has had a deep connection to our old Adam nature is being stripped off. That hurts, indeed, dear brothers and sisters. But instead of lamenting on here, I decided to copy and paste a quote Becky Johnson recently made me aware of.
“There are some types of suffering before which the only thing you can do is keep your mouth shut. There are times when a man needs to be handled by God, not by his fellow men, and part of the gift of man’s wisdom is to know how to be reverent with what he does not understand.” ~ Oswald Chambers
As much as we might want to encourage someone who goes through these valleys of darkness, there is no good advice we can give here, no relief we could offer, and no joke that would be helpful in any way. Instead, it only increases the pain for the one who is not understood by those who simply wanted to help. However, prayers are always appreciated.
Thank you! ❤
Susanne
Michael said:
Dear Susanne, you are so right… nothing can be said, all that can be done is to love a person in such pain and death and hold their hand if possible and silently pray. ❤
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
That was sweet! ❤ Thank you very much for your understanding words, dear Michael.
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Michael said:
I wish I could do more.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Thanks again, my brother. Your prayers have always helped me and lifted me up. Sometimes I think we still underestimate the power of prayer, just as we underestimate the power of God who wants to answer our desperate cries for help.
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Michael said:
I think that having gone through some of these pains myself and much dying in the wilderness of my own, drives me to pray and call out to God with my whole heart for you. Your pains are real to me and it becomes so personal. I actually weep when you weep and rejoice when you rejoice. You are an answer to my “Green Mile” prayer, dear sister.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
I knew about your “Green Mile” prayer, Michael, and that has always touched me deeply. Thanks a lot, once again!
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Fred Thoren said:
I will pray for you right now. I may not be the best at praying but I hope that helps.
I am reminded of what was mentioned in a bible study that I went to on Saturday. I do not think it is the exact same thing. It talked about those who are suffering to help them and people were constantly helping them and actually making things worse by helping them. I hope I get to the point were you are at.
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Thank you so much for your prayers, Fred. I am not good at praying, either. Even, I cannot pray for a long time unless God draws me toward Himself and fills my mouth. If not, my mind keeps running like a hamster in his wheel which is UNNERVING. 😛
What you shared here about how we often tend to help wrongly as it was told in your bible study, truly, hits the nail smack on its head. Very good! ⭐
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Michael said:
Susanne, I believe these verses are for you in this hour,
“You approached and stood at the foot of the mountain, a mountain ablaze to the sky above it and yet dark with a thick cloud. Then the LORD spoke to you from the middle of the fire; you heard speech but you could not see anything – only a voice was heard.” (Deut 4:11-12, NET)
Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the voice of his servant? Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God. (Isa 50:10, ESV2011)
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
Thank you for these Scriptures, Michael.
Fearing the Lord is not something we can “do” on our own, but if God gives us the grace to share in this fear, we will want to obey Him more than men. Even though God lets us suffer time and again, He has His reasons to do so. And in the end we will realize that the following has always been true.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile. (Jer 29:11-14 ESV)
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Anna Waldherr said:
You are in my prayers, Susanne. ❤
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Susanne Schuberth (Germany) said:
I am so grateful for your tender heart, dear Anna. Thank you very much! ❤
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