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Albert Barnes, discerning the spirits, exhortation, experience, God's love, joy, love, peace, Truth in Love
LOVE – the more excellent way
(Picture credits https://denigustafson.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/0522-joh013035engkjv08000480-000.jpg)
As these two caps in my headline might already point to, speaking the truth in love is not something we can do on our own. Actually, we must be in love with our Creator through Jesus Christ, so that we can behave toward all other human beings as we should. Loving them unconditionally does not mean that we cave in if we disagree with them. No, if God wants us to take a stand, we should do it – always. However, if we are not IN love with God, what will happen is most probably something that some of us already did: they tried to speak the truth in love by telling others what they believed, and perhaps it was really the truth (!), but they did not wait on the Lord to nudge them to do so and thus it got all harsh and judgmental. They might have felt that there was something wrong about it and thus they added some pleasantry in order to show that they really loved the other person. Well, I believe that is not the way God intended it to be.
Let’s think about it for a moment. Just imagine, someone beheaded you and told you afterwards they loved you, though. How would you and I feel? Some people might even think there is something like “righteous anger” when they express “the truth” by attacking others although they simply obeyed their fleshly desire to be right. But “the anger of man does NOT produce the righteousness of God.” (Js 1:20 ESV – emphasis mine) The righteousness of God has been imputed on us if we have been enabled, by God’s grace, to live IN Christ. Then we may enjoy His peace, His love, His righteousness etc., everything His Spirit provides, by merely abiding in His love. We cannot even abide in His love if He has not “known” us, that is, loved us (body/soul/and spirit) as yet. Dear brothers and sisters, it is not fun to finally realize that we cannot do anything (which is truly good) apart from Him, but it is the truth!!! Everything we do or say apart from His Spirit’s guidance, even though it might be true, will not bring forth the righteousness of God. Instead, it will hurt and destroy.
The principle of waiting on God for His proper timing also refers to what we say about others. It does matter what and especially how we talk about others, all the more if we do so publicly. In fact, it is not the same thing to judge what might be wrong about a certain teaching, a specific teacher, or the church system in itself and to mock other human beings simply because we disagree with them. This is certainly not what God wants to see His children do. Ridiculing famous or not so famous people (Christians in particular) is something I often meet on the internet and it grieves me a lot. 😦 The world may keep doing so because it does not know God (cf. 1 Jn 5:19). But if Christians do the same, I doubt whether they have really received His Spirit who reveals to them continually that God loves everyone. ALL people on earth are HIS creation! And Jesus Christ is the Savior of the whole world! If we despise someone God has created, we despise their Creator also. Whether we speak about politicians, religious personalities, celebrities of all kind, or even about family members, may we wait on God to show us if what we say or write about them is pleasant in His eyes and in theirs also. I know that the truth might hurt sometimes and if God wants us to take a stand, we will offend others at times, too, but may we be sure of abiding in His love before we speak up for Him.
In closing, I offer you an exposition from Albert Barnes on Ephesians chapter 4, verse 15, where speaking “the truth in love” to our brothers and sisters is mentioned.
(1) The truth is “to be spoken” – the simple, unvarnished truth. This is the way to avoid error, and this is the way to preserve others from error. In opposition to all trick, and art, and cunning, and fraud, and deception, Christians are to speak the simple truth, and nothing but the truth. Every statement which they make should be unvarnished truth; every promise which they make should be true; every representation which they make of the sentiments of others should he simple truth. “Truth is the representation of things as they are;” and there is no virtue that is more valuable in a Christian than the love of simple truth.
(2) the second thing is, that the truth should be spoken “in love.” There are other ways of speaking truth. It is sometimes spoken in a harsh, crabby, sour manner, which does nothing but disgust and offend. When we state truth to others, it should be with love to their souls, and with a sincere desire to do them good. When we admonish a brother of his faults, it should not be in a harsh and unfeeling manner, but in love. Where a minister pronounces the awful truth of God about depravity, death, the judgment, and future woe, it should be in love. It should not be done in a harsh and repulsive manner; it should not he done as if he rejoiced that people were in danger of hell, or as if he would like to pass the final sentence; it should not be with indifference, or in a tone of superiority. And in like manner, if we go to convince one who is in error, we should approach him in love. We should not dogmatize, or denounce, or deal out anathemas. Such things only repel. “He has done about half his work in convincing another of error who has first convinced him that he loves him;” and if he does not do that, he may argue to the hour of his death and make no progress in convincing him.
http://www.studylight.org/commentaries/bnb/view.cgi?bk=48&ch=4
Amen Sister in Christ Jesus-Yeshua!!
Love Always and Shalom,
Kristi Ann
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Thank you, Kristi Ann. ❤
Wow!! That was a quick response, directly after publishing. Alas, I had some probs with posting the picture… seemed to have disappeared into nirvana. But now it is back! 🙂
Love and peace to you, too,
Susanne
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I guess some people are speed readers! Ha!
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Yes, indeed.
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Susanne, great post… I love that quote from Barnes, “He has done about half his work in convincing another of error who has first convinced him that he loves him;” and if he does not do that, he may argue to the hour of his death and make no progress in convincing him.”
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Thank you very much, Michael! 🙂
Indeed, the quote you love hit me too. I thought it was a good thing that it closed the post so that it might linger in the memory… 😉
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Susanne, in the late 70’s I was doing all sorts of outwardly “prophetic” things. I mistakenly thought of myself as Old Testament type prophet…. you know come up to somebody that I had no in depth relationship with and give them a “Thus saith the Lord….!” and leave. One pastor that I tried that with told me that he would not consider anything I said as from God until I had become a member of his congregation and had showed myself faithful to attend for at least six months.
In a way he was right. We should prove ourselves faithful to love people in a real way if we want them to listen to anything we say that is corrective. Most “prophets” today think in terms of being another Elijah from far away Tishba, get in Ahab’s face and “poof” he is gone! That is not the New Testament gift of prophesy in action, though. The ones we read about in the book of Acts were part of the local body of the church, not lone rangers.
The problem with what this pastor said was that I could have been a member of his church for five years and probably never have got to know him or He me on a personal level! This seems to be the norm for Sunday Christianity these days. Very few pastors have an intimate relationship with their sheep and again, this is just as wrong as the self-styled “drive-by” prophet that comes in, shoots and leaves. Jesus shows us the difference in John ch, 10, for the good shepherd calls his sheep by name and is there with them when they need help. It is a very personable relationship. There are WAY too many hirelings these days who are all about building numbers and NOT about relationships!
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Yes, Michael, relationship matters. First, we need a loving relationship with our Creator and then with one another. All by God’s grace, of course, as a gift from Him who loves us.
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Susanne, you are absolutely right about the need to first be in love with our Father before we try to speak HIS truth in love to another. Thanks for sharing this. ❤
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You’re very welcome, Michael. 🙂
Thanks for putting the emphasis on HIS love since any other love won’t do.
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You both are so right. Sometimes when I feel offended I get defensive and then become self righteous like how dare you! God help me with that. This was definitely a good blog for me to read. I am so sorry. This seems to be the biggest area I need to work on. And I do love the Lord with all my heart but when certain things crop up that love goes right out the door! I need to keep learning from you two. But one thing I do know that I do not do is tell people they are going to hell. I am not God. I can’t tell anyone that. I have very little understanding of hell anyways so I would rather encourage goodness and love. Especially with family. Please forgive me if you seen anything out of line? I already asked God to. Thank you!
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You’re very welcome, my sister. ❤
Stacey, I cannot write exhortations that have not been a real test for me beforehand as well. I always need to endure His scrutinizing light in my heart and mind (which is painful) before HE nudges me to write about those things He is displeased with. So, I am never an exception, but sitting in the same boat as all others do.
What you wrote about being triggered, yes, I know that one too. And if the Lord does not set us free from these reactions of the flesh, we have no chance to change that – ever. Even if someone remains silent instead of having an emotional outbreak after having been triggered, God knows our very hearts. And only He can give us a new heart.
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There is definitely a difference between being angry in the flesh and angry in the Holy Ghost (righteous anger). An example of holy or righteous anger would be when Jesus used a whip of cords and kicked the money changers out of the Temple.
Years ago, I was working at this lumber yard in Iowa and I got angry with a co-worker and I said some harsh words. That was anger in the flesh and the bad feelings lingered in me for several days and I knew that it was wrong. A few years later, the Lord told me to rebuke this man that I knew. The rebuke by me was very powerful, verbally violent and loud—it was done in the power of the Holy Ghost. After I delivered that rebuke, I had absolute perfect peace in my spirit. I just want to remind people that I am 55 years old and that is the ONLY time in my life that I have given such a powerful rebuke in the power of the Holy Ghost.
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Tim, I do agree that there is a difference beween that righteous anger we see when Jesus kicked the money changers out of the temple and our “normal” anger in the flesh.
And your own example shows clearly the difference between these two. If we have His peace to rebuke and His peace does not leave us while doing so, it was His will. But if negative feelings linger on in us (related to negative thoughts), we can be sure that our old self was triggered and longs for a revenge of sorts.
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I LIKE the way you put it Sue in your post and it brought to mind something I was reading earlier–it was a quote I came up with from a commentary on Galatians–To walk by Gods being means our steps are by His control ever progressively becoming more in tune with His characiture and others will see it.Thanks for the reminder.
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You’re very welcome, Kenny. Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂
I do agree that He directs our steps. And if we do not listen to His guidance, we will sense it immediately because we lose His peace and restlessness sets in, instead.
BTW, I hope all went well for you on Monday…? 🙄
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Yes it did and by Gods intervention I am at peace with the outcome
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I am relieved to hear that, Ken.
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Glad to hear that, Ken! “For you shall not go out with haste, nor go by flight: for the LORD will go before you; and the God of Israel will be your rear guard.” (Isa 52:12, KJ2000)
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This is a most convicting post with regards to much that I have going through in recent weeks. Thank you. Will prayerfully consider my words.
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You’re very welcome, dear Becky. ❤
As I said to Stacey above, we are all sitting in the same boat. The only one who never made mistakes was Jesus. Before writing about such things, God convicts me before as well. Not fun, but necessary in order to not get proud or to think there would be anything which is good dwell in my old Adam nature (flesh).
May God bless you and keep you!
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This is a difficult one, Susanne. Sometimes when I read posts, and this has everything to do with the way I’m wired, I wonder “is the author writing about me?” I read and re-read posts like this one and reflect on what I’ve been writing lately. Do I need to make a correction? I read such posts several times; once at face value, once to get a feel for the author’s spirit and what’s written between the lines, and again to see how I need to apply it. For that reason, I’m selective about what I read, because the process wears me out emotionally. How I wish I were more of a rational type than the intuitive-feeling type; I might be able to get by with reading things just once. 😳
I’m sure you’ve stumbled onto some of the so-called apologetics web sites, where people are identified by name and the site author presides in judgment over them. I avoid those sites because they leave me feeling sick to my stomach, strangely, not so much for the people they judge, but towards the author who for some reason felt the need to flay someone, from behind the safety of a computer screen.
At the same time, I value sharing our experiences with one another in a generic way (no names), because it can be helpful and affirming to someone going through the same thing. Often, scriptures are discussed in an idealistic way, where sharing first hand experience together with scripture helps others see how they are applied. About the power of sharing experience, when I was served with a divorce nearly 25 years ago, the most helpful book was “The People of the Lie” by Dr. M. Scott Peck. It presents a dozen cases Dr. Peck treated, one of which was very much like my first marriage. The story helped me see that I was not alone in what I had experienced and began to free me from the guilt and condemnation I felt when the marriage failed.
What is difficult for me in these matters, is the assessment of whether or not someone is the Lord’s disciple. When Jesus said “love one another” (John 13:35, above), it was to His disciples for His disciples. Does that scripture and the one which says “speak the truth in love” apply when we are addressing hirelings, thieves and robbers, who have come to steal, kill and destroy? And what of the tares in the field of the Lord? Being honest, I really don’t have it in me to love them, much less speak the truth in love to them. They are stealing from the Lord and from His people, which I hate. As often as I’ve spoken to them, they reject the truth. The torrent of uncomfortable feelings their actions provoke within me are often very difficult to deal with (the fire of rebuke), while trying to bridle my tongue and pen so I don’t speak out of turn. I wish sometimes that I had chosen the blue pill.
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Dear Jack,
As I already mentioned in my responses to Stacey and Becky, exhortations are difficult (to write) for me, too. No one sees the Lord convicting me of my past mistakes in this and other areas before He eventually nudges me to write such stuff. So, I find myself always in a very low(ly) position when I am sitting in front of my computer in order to jot it all down. 😦 Pride is so difficult to fight against and therefore it is so necessary that God judges me before I speak up. Also, I deleted one of my older blog posts and sometimes I correct some of my articles when I eventually get aware of my “sharp edges” that need to be softened up.
Well, what you wrote about your feelings regarding hirelings and such, I know that anger as well. But I think that there is a big difference if the Lord fills us up with His love for them and afterwards lets us share an exhortation regarding these same people. In this case, we find ourselves on the same level with them as Paul said in Romans 7 (wretched man) and then there is no danger to feel superior in any way since we know it has all been His doing, just as Paul told us here,
““Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.” (2 Cor 10:17-18 ESV)
PS
Hmm…. who is the Lord’s disciple? Well, yes, that is a good question, Jack. Should we change the tone of our voice when we have to do with these people of which we presume they are not the Lord’s?
Without being able to give a watertight response here, I believe that the Final Judgment belongs to the Lord. Our job until then is to speak up for Him as He wills and share the truth in love with all people, Christians or not. Of course, it is not about people pleasing and sometimes we will offend others and therefore be hated just as our Lord was hated and persecuted.
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Susanne, that was a wonderful reply to Jack and the rest of us who struggle with a church system that has so often come under the control of perverse men and become a “den of thieves” instead of a “house of prayer.” I am reminded that even after Jesus showed anger in the temple for this violation, He went up on the Mount of Olives looked back at it and said, “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you that kill the prophets, and stone them which are sent unto you, how often would I have gathered your children together, even as a hen gathers her chickens under her wings, and you would not! Behold, your house is left unto you desolate. For I say unto you, you shall not see me again, till you shall say, Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.”
He knew that when God takes vengeance it is final. I am sure that he wept over that wicked city, knowing what was going to come upon Israel for rejecting Him, their only salvation. Keeping these things in mind keeps me from being too quick to entering into judgment. And I know that God is even able to make people stand in HIS righteousness who I have judged as unrighteous. Another thing that occurs to me; God often judges institutions and condemns them, but He always is about redeeming the people that are in them. Like Yogi Bera used to say, “It ain’t over until its over!” Never underestimate the power of prayer.
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You response was very edifying to read, Michael! Thank you so much! 🙂 As it has been so often, these verses also confirm biblically what I wrote before. Thanks again! The Jesus quote is great since it reveals God’s very heart! ⭐ Although He loves and chastens those whom He loves and even leaves them for some time until they repent, God can NEVER forget those whom He loves. I was also reminded of Jesus’ last words on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Lk 23:34 ESV)
Michael, you wrote,
Amen. Very well said, Michael! Let’s pray for those God shows us by giving us a prayer burden on our heart. It is a mystery, but prayer and love are deeply connected with one another. In fact, we can only hate those for who we did not pray earnestly.
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Thanks for your kind reply, Susanne. I appreciate that you mentioned periodically reflecting on what you’ve written in the past, where you have re-written or deleted old posts. I remember posing that question to Michael once, when I had grown to the point that I no longer believed some of the things I had written at first.
Concerning hirelings, thieves, robbers and tares, I suppose the best response should be like that of the archangel Michael to the devil in Jude 1:9 “The Lord rebuke you”. Sometimes, I forget that the real war is spiritual and that the battle is the Lord’s. It is because of the many injuries such men have done to the Body that I find it so difficult to love the men through whom the enemy operates. And yet, the Lord allows it all; perhaps that is one of the reasons Michael the archangel was reluctant to rebuke the enemy, and left the matter to the Lord.
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You’re very welcome, Jack.
Indeed, I had this thought on my mind as well, but did not jot it down. Now I know why. 🙂
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Wow.. so good to mediate and be reminded of this.
I think on how we have been mis-taught the self-righteousness teaching that we are walking in love when in reality all we are doing is walking in self-control.
Oh how needs to hear and understand the difference between strength in the soul (exercised upon the flesh) verses the outflow of intimacy IN Him that results in Love being the natural outflow and bi-product.
True walking in love…. an outflow. I really was ministered to by this post. Thank you so much, Susanne!
David NY
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You’re very welcome, David. I am happy to hear you found this post helpful! 🙂
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Thank you for this gentle guidance, Susanne. ❤ For me, one of the worst things Christians can do is radiate self-righteousness while they lambast others for the very sins they, themselves, are guilty of committing. That destroys the Christian witness, turning untold numbers away from Christ.
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You’re most welcome, dear Anna. ❤
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This is a strong but good message. Thank you.
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Yes, for sure it is strong, Fred. We should only know that we cannot “produce” real love (read agape) with our old self that will never change. Indeed, our old Adam nature is totally depraved as Paul in Romans 7 confirmed (“wretched man”).
The good news is that God loves us and wants to pour His love into our very hearts so that we can love like Jesus loves, with the NEW heart and the NEW mind of the NEW creation born from above. IN Christ everything is possible, but apart from Him nothing which is truly good will ever be brought forth by any human being.
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