Susanne Schuberth’s Spiritual Diary (Part 4) – “A Dream Come True…”

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anxiety, church, depression, dreams, experience, family, fears, fellowship, freedom, interpretation, John of the Cross, joy, Michael Clark, my journal, prayer, suicide, the dark night of the spirit, visions

“GRACE behind the fence…” (number five represents GRACE)
Photo by Susanne Schuberth

Well, seven years ago, as I was still all alone in my walk with Daddy and Jesus, I was plagued by several fears. At that time, it was not that clear to me what the root of these fears was. As I know today, it was the fear of death, not of my own death since I had a wonderful NDE (near death experience) in 1998, but of losing my loved ones (parents, daughter, husband… you get the picture). After having already lost our only son through a miscarriage in 2009, these fears kept coming back much stronger than before, again and again. I have been pretty anxious all my life, however, during the Dark Night of the Spirit (see John of the Cross’ same-titled book) that began in 2010, it got worse and worse, i.e., God began to open the deep recesses of my heart so that I could both see AND feel these fears – extremely!!!

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How to Become ONE

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becoming one, discerning the spirits, exhortation, experience, faith, feelings, God's love, heart, love, obedience, Oneness, sanctification, Satan, sin, soul-life, the valley of the shadow of death

If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. (1 Jn 4:20 ESV)
– Photo by Susanne Schuberth

We have an easy time dealing with people who perfectly agree with us and always understand what we mean. Ahem, ahem, seriously… do such people really exist??  😉 Is there anyone but God who understands everything we might tell them and knows these dark and hidden areas inside our hearts we do not even know ourselves? I assume we all might feel more comfortable with those people who agree with us or who appreciate us even if we disagree. Yet it appears to be more difficult when we have to do with human beings who like to debate or fight over who is right. God who knows our problems created a heavenly condition of which Jesus spoke as He prayed,

“Meet Me in the Spirit!”

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discerning the spirits, entering his rest, experience, faith, following Jesus, God's love, joy, pain, peace, prayer, rest, spiritual power, the promised land, walking by the spirit

“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”    (2 Cor 4:17-18 ESV) – Photo by Susanne Schuberth

Last Thursday in the afternoon as I was hurrying to another appointment with the dentist, I briefly checked the station clock which told me that I had two or three minutes, still. I was a bit late and kept hastening toward the subway which runs below the rail tracks. The dentist’s office was on the other side of the station so that I was able to arrive on time. Nonetheless, having had toothaches for about a half year now (on and off, but more on than off), I also kept asking the Lord about my future decisions regarding the dentist and these problems with my teeth. It was not the first time that I had raised these questions, but as you might know, God sometimes gives you no answers and then again He might tell you something out of the blue which you do not really understand.

God’s humorous guidance

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authority, discerning the spirits, dreams, experience, fear of the Lord, feeling, God's guidance, God's love, God's voice, inspiration, Jesus Christ, joy, Martin Luther, Michael Clark, pain, prayer, rest, resurrection, spiritual power, suffering, visions

What a nice surprise…
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth)

Well, basically, I had a day full of back pains and toothaches, but at the end of that day I dare say, “It was a pretty good day, though…” Originally I wanted to go to bed earlier than usual and I told my family about it one hour ago. As I thought about what to do in the following half hour before going to bed, I would ask God if He had any ideas or what HE wanted to do. At first I reflected on reading a bit… or on making a Sudoku puzzle… or not… however, I began with tidying up our flat as Jesus answered my question. “I want to spend time with you!” Wow! That came across pretty forcefully, even passionately. I immediately knew our Lord had spoken and my heart began to flutter in joyful anticipation.

Love is Obedience, not Feelings

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anger, anxiety, darkness, doubts, encouragement, experience, faith, fears, feelings, God's Humor, God's love, heart, joy, love, mind, obedience, peace, self-will, thought life, true faith, worries

After the Sunset…
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth, colors enhanced by Michael Clark)

Just for clarification, having chosen this particular title, I did not want to suggest that God’s love would not provide a wide range of wonderful feelings, both for our soul and body, that are intrinsic features of an abundant life in Christ (cf. Jn 10:10). Rather, my intention was to point to the fact that our walk with God is often characterized by a lack of good feelings when we find ourselves in another trial where we suffer according to His will. We might also call our walk with Him in these times a mere walk of faith. It is in these times where we learn to trust in what we cannot see (yet) and in what we cannot understand (yet).

Ha! While writing I just had an interesting experience with God I want to share with you.

Stern or silky… how should a Christian be?

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discerning the spirits, encouragement, experience, God's guidance, God's love, humanism, Oswald Chambers, preaching, spiritual growth, the cross, writing

His brightness was like the light; rays flashed from his hand; and there he veiled his power. (Hab 3:4 ESV)
Photo by Susanne Schuberth

Lately as I read Oswald Chambers’ daily devotional, I was a bit bewildered at first. I read through it, wondering, still, and thought, “Okay, he seems to be right. But maybe, something is missing here…” Before telling you more, I want to show you the text I have been referring to.