Tags
circumcision of the heart, darkness, dying to self, experience, Fellowship of His Sufferings, following Jesus, God's love, joy, Morning Star, pain, Sickness, suffering, T.A. Sparks, the dark night of the soul, the mind of Christ
Wendelstein/Upper Bavaria
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth 2017)
This will be a rather short blog post since I am not doing that well at the moment. What I have done recently was that I was complaining continually before God, lamenting that He seemingly did not care about me. Sometimes you have one trial, sometimes two trials at the same time, but this time the number of my afflictions has increased almost every day. Although I would remember having had good experiences with God in the past as well, I was not sure whether God’s love was still real for me, having been cut off from His presence for quite some time now.
Having prayed for deliverance and release, having visited different specialists, too, and then getting sicker and sicker did not make much sense to me. Dear reader, this is only the physical part of my trials since I do not want to share these other trials publicly; they are private and I do not want those who are concerned to read this and feel exposed in any way.
Wendelstein (Photo by Susanne Schuberth 2017)
From many of my own experiences (like bipolar depression and dark night of the soul) I know that we need to go through countless dark valleys of the shadow of death until the Morning Star truly rises in our hearts. Of course, my Old Adam nature always wants to be delivered as fast as possible! But God Whose ways are not ours let me I rarely see quick deliverance, quite the contrary! It seems to me TODAY that we learn patience when we wait and wait….. and wait on Him until His perfect timing. My latest experiences remind me of a devotional from T. Austin Sparks where he said the following.
Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame. (Hebrews 12:2)
“The passion of the Cross is the way of our release, and if you consider your own spiritual experience, those of you who have any experience of a walk with God, you know quite well that it has been through times of deep and acute suffering that you have found fresh releases; fresh releases in your spiritual life. Is it not true? Yes, we pass into a time of excruciating spiritual and soul suffering. We do not know what the Lord is doing, what He means by this, what He is after, but we know the features of our experience and know what it is that we are suffering, and it goes on. We, of course, ask the Lord to stop it, to bring it to a quick end, to deliver us from it. He takes no notice of us, and it is only those people who get out the other end who say, ‘Thank God, He did not take any notice.’ In the meantime, we think He is anything but kind and good and doing the right thing, but as we get on under His hand, we begin to see and to sense that He is dealing with something. Maybe He is dealing with our pride, our independence, or our irresponsibility, for example. That is the issue that comes up, and we are faced all the time with something about ourselves that is almost devastating. We would not have believed that that was so strong in us.
“Oh, of course we were always ready to believe that that is in mankind and in us as a part of mankind in a general way. Yes, we would never have resented being told that there was pride or something like that about us, but we would never have believed how deeply rooted and terribly strong that thing is until it was put to a fiery test and everything was held up, and we saw that everything in our life and work for God was held up on that point…. And we know quite well that what the Lord was after was not the pulverising of us, as we thought, the winding up of us, but to bring about enlargement, to bring about release, and release always lies along the line of the Cross, the passion. Enlargement always lies in that direction.” (1)
It appears to me also that God brings forth the mind of Christ in us when we are well acquainted with mourning, grief, and suffering as it was written about Jesus, too.
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. (Is 53:3 ESV)
The mind of Christ always seeks God’s will, not our own. Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? But without Christ’s Spirit and help, we cannot achieve anything on our own which is truly spiritual (cf. Jn 15:5). Dear brothers and sisters, take care and let us beware of applying biblical principles to our natural ways of thinking and acting. Only if we wait on God to change our hearts and minds as He sees fit, we will be enabled to think and act in ways that are pleasing not only to God, but to ourselves as well since the fruit of the Spirit is PEACE and LOVE and JOY…
(1) http://www.austin-sparks.net/english/openwindows/003113.html
“In keeping with T. Austin-Sparks’ wishes that what was freely received should be freely given and not sold for profit, and that his messages be reproduced word for word, we ask if you choose to share these messages with others, to please respect his wishes and offer them freely – free of any changes, free of any charge (except necessary distribution costs) and with this statement included.”
Samerberg/Upper Bavaria
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth 2017)
Entering the Promised Land 
My heart goes out to you, Susanne. Both for your physical and spiritual suffering. I know exactly what you mean about thrashing under God’s hand. If we must suffer, we want relief ASAP. God’s timing though is not our own. Even after a profound trial has passed, we may not know its full purpose.
Adrian Rogers wrote at http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/love-worth-finding/read/articles/four-lies-that-ruined-the-world-13312.html that Satan tells mankind 4 great lies about God’s character: that He is not loving, not truthful, not righteous, and not gracious.
Suffering is, in a broad sense, intended to teach us that these are lies. Gradually, we learn to trust God’s love, truthfulness, righteousness, and concern for our welfare despite appearances to the contrary.
We have a new dog in the family. In training Katrina is rewarded w/ a small treat after she obeys a command like “Sit” or “Stay”. Gradually, however, the rewards will be fewer and further between. She will learn to wait longer for her rewards, and will eventually obey commands from a desire to please us.
These commands, I should add, are intended to protect Katrina. “Drop it” is critical when she finds a dead bird or picks up a piece of glass. “Come” lets her know we want or need her.
This is an over-simplification. Human beings are not, of course, dogs. But the general principle, I think, applies. If we were as loving and loyal as dogs, our training might go faster (LOL).
You are in my prayers, Susanne.
With love,
Anna ❤
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Thanks so much for your prayers, Anna. ❤
Instead of thinking it was simplified, I found this example with Katrina perfectly fitting for me, since, God knows, I do love dogs (and many, many other animals, too). 🙂
I also agree about these four lies Satan has spread since the fall. And I do know that it is the devil who keeps attacking me continually so that God can get me to the point where He wants me to have. Girl, indeed, what a looong process until HE is done with us!
With love and gratefulness,
Susanne ❤
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Susanne, great post and I love your photography. To suffer continuously without any hope is the worst kind of suffering possible. I do not think that this is God’s will for us though these times of dying to self seem like it. We read about the nature of our Savior and His salvation in Isaiah where it says,
”A bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench; he will faithfully bring forth justice. He will not grow faint or be discouraged till he has established justice in the earth…” (Isa 42:3-4, ESV2011)
We may be deeply bruised by life and left as a smoking ember where there once was a flame in our hearts, but we can be assured that He is not through with us. HE will bring forth justice in the halls of heaven for us, justice that conforms us into the image of the Son. This morning as I started to read the TAS devotional for April 4th, I was feeling quite hopeless. It seems that the more I have prayed for God to do something about all your afflictions, the worse it gets. Now my wife has been diagnosed with pneumonia. I can handle my own pain, but when those whom I love are hurting and prayer does not seem to help, THAT is very depressing for me. But TAS wrote something in that devotional that put a spark of hope in me as I read it this morning…
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Thank you very much for your edifying words, Michael! Also, thanks a bunch for the encouragement regarding my pictures! 🙂
You were not the only one who kept praying for me for a long time and God did not seem to listen to any of our prayers in our time(s). That does not mean He did not hear us, but His thoughts cannot be grasped by us as much as we would want to comprehend His dealing with us. You and Dot are in my prayers, too, and I do not know, either, when God will heal (all of) us.
Since I had neither time nor any inclination to read any devotionals or other spiritual stuff lately, I read the last devotionals by Sparks today, the one you quoted as well. I believe that the cross must reign over our carnal nature/flesh as long as we live on earth. If we always let the cross deal with our flesh, we will also share His (spiritual) resurrection life on a continued basis.
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Susanne you wrote, “If we always let the cross deal with our flesh, we will also share His (spiritual) resurrection life on a continued basis.”
Sometimes this is hard to see when we are feeling the cross working in us. Paul wrote your very thoughts here:
“We are… always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.” (2Cor 4:8-10, ESV2011)
Thanks for sharing this revelation with me, dear sister. ⭐
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Michael, I was not sure whether that was a revelation, but I believe it might become true – in the future. Honestly, at the moment I do not see it at all, either. 😦
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Susanne, I am glad that I can read your blogs. I am sorry that you are suffering, and have no words of wisdom to offer as comfort. I do know that the things that we suffer to be so – can not be taken from us.
The Apostle John in some of his letters said that he did not want to write more, but he wanted to talk face to face. I would like to fellowship with you face to face.
Love,
Pat Orr
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That was so sweet what you wrote, dear Pat! ❤
I would love to fellowship with you face to face, too, my dear sister! I believe you do know what suffering is all about. Only those who have deeply suffered can show such tender compassion as you have always done.
Thanks a bunch for your encouraging words as to my writings. That helps a lot, Pat! 🙂
Much love to you,
Susanne ❤
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Pat, that was wonderful! I feel the same way. Cyber fellowship is not enough. John wrote something that I often reflect on as well…
The elder to the elect lady and her children, whom I love in truth, and not only I, but also all who know the truth, because of the truth that abides in us and will be with us forever: Grace, mercy, and peace will be with us, from God the Father and from Jesus Christ the Father’s Son, in truth and love… Though I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink. Instead I hope to come to you and talk face to face, so that our joy may be complete. (2John 1:1-12, ESV2011)
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Yes there is no doubt–Dad loves us–but figuring out how He shows it is beyond understanding–But we are glad He does give us His mercy
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I am glad you can relate, Ken. Without His mercy we would be lost, no doubt about this, my brother! ⭐
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