Worth the Fight… Extending Inner Quietness

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abiding in Christ, abundance of life, discerning the spirits, encouragement, entering his rest, experience, eyes of the heart, faith, God, Jesus Christ, joy, mind, pain, peace, prayer, rest, suffering, thought life

Last week I felt a strong nudge to get closer to God and to let go of more and more, partly self-imposed, duties. As a woman, you might know how difficult it is to get rid of old habits and of letting go to care for others (more than they really need it) in order to meet EVERY expectation perfectly. I have also been used to care for my body daily and I sensed that my exhausting workouts tend to make my life more and more burdened. However, I could not get rid of swimming ‘the English Channel’, so to speak. 😉 I do know that I am no longer twenty or thirty and therefore I had begun to take at least one break during the day some years ago. Mostly after dinner I spend time in bed praying. Admittedly, sometimes I fall asleep because of exhaustion. 😉

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God’s humorous guidance

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authority, discerning the spirits, dreams, experience, fear of the Lord, feeling, God's guidance, God's love, God's voice, inspiration, Jesus Christ, joy, Martin Luther, Michael Clark, pain, prayer, rest, resurrection, spiritual power, suffering, visions

What a nice surprise…
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth)

Well, basically, I had a day full of back pains and toothaches, but at the end of that day I dare say, “It was a pretty good day, though…” Originally I wanted to go to bed earlier than usual and I told my family about it one hour ago. As I thought about what to do in the following half hour before going to bed, I would ask God if He had any ideas or what HE wanted to do. At first I reflected on reading a bit… or on making a Sudoku puzzle… or not… however, I began with tidying up our flat as Jesus answered my question. “I want to spend time with you!” Wow! That came across pretty forcefully, even passionately. I immediately knew our Lord had spoken and my heart began to flutter in joyful anticipation.

Love is Obedience, not Feelings

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anger, anxiety, darkness, doubts, encouragement, experience, faith, fears, feelings, God's Humor, God's love, heart, joy, love, mind, obedience, peace, self-will, thought life, true faith, worries

After the Sunset…
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth, colors enhanced by Michael Clark)

Just for clarification, having chosen this particular title, I did not want to suggest that God’s love would not provide a wide range of wonderful feelings, both for our soul and body, that are intrinsic features of an abundant life in Christ (cf. Jn 10:10). Rather, my intention was to point to the fact that our walk with God is often characterized by a lack of good feelings when we find ourselves in another trial where we suffer according to His will. We might also call our walk with Him in these times a mere walk of faith. It is in these times where we learn to trust in what we cannot see (yet) and in what we cannot understand (yet).

Ha! While writing I just had an interesting experience with God I want to share with you.

Waiting on God…

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agape, Corrie ten Boom, Darren T. Carter, deception, depression, discerning the spirits, divine inspiration, entering his rest, experience, following Jesus, God's love, peace, rest, restlessness, Satan, separation from the world, spiritual flow, success, the devil, trusting God

View from Zirndorf’s Tower ‘Alte Veste’/Bavaria
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth)

This morning as I was searching for a quote from Corrie ten Boom which I had found on my German daily kitchen calendar, I discovered many others in the English language on the internet. However, the one I was looking for was not among them.  😉 In this particular quote Corrie said it so well, “You won’t lose time if you wait on God.” Isn’t it true that our old nature wants to see things been done, if possible all at once… so that we can rest AFTERWARDS? Has it ever occurred to you that God might have forgotten about your concerns since you prayed and prayed… but nothing seemed to have happened?

The Way of the Church is a Dead-End Street

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being born again, experience, God's Humor, humor, inspiration, joy, light, spiritual, the new self

Kirchenweg (“Church Way”) in Oberfürberg/Bavaria
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth)

If I jotted down everything I experienced with God lately, it would turn out an overwhelmingly lengthy post. And I do not want my readers to be bored stiff. So, I hope God helps me to put it as briefly as possible and as detailed as necessary. And maybe, I can raise a smile or two from my readers because of my crazy experiences with God.

My Sheep Hear My Voice

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discerning the spirits, ears of the heart, following Jesus, God's love, listening, Oswald Chambers, sheep, shepherd

My Sheep Hear My Voice
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth)

If we have ever been in love, we know that hearing the voice of the one whom we love can make our heart flutter with anticipation. Well, one might object here that this is a common human experience, however, does it apply to our experience of hearing God just the same? Jesus said,

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” (Jn 10:27 ESV)

This is a promise, a statement that assures us that His sheep can discern His voice from others. Jesus “knows” them, i.e., He loves them, and we might assume as well that their love causes them to follow Him eventually. Although there might be many voices every day that talk to us without interruptions, there must be something special about the voice of the One who created us. In order to illustrate what I just tried to explain, I will share my latest “sheep experience” with you. 😉

The old self cannot really love…

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freedom, humor, knowing, love, psychology, spiritual power, the new self, the old self

Well… Which Self to Choose? 😉
(Cartoon taken from http://mylifeintupperware.blogspot.de/2012/04/feeding-right-dog.html)

“If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Mt 7:11 ESV)

Boy, who would have thought that our Old Adam and Eve are evil persons who can do good things, to be sure, yet cannot truly love due to their immanent wretchedness? But wait…can’t they love somehow, though? We know from our own experience that every human being can fall in love which is a wonderful thing, however, it’s still selfish love. Since as soon as the beloved person rejects the one who still looks through rose-colored glasses, love as it was before is over. And that we love our children is normal, too, isn’t it? Even if they reject us one day.

HE knows I’m bad and I know it, too (wink wink)

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freedom, God's love, humor, inspiration, joy, pain, self-knowledge, the new self, the old self, wretchedness

Nothing But Snowflakes…
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth)

Yes, it’s no coincidence that my headline might remind you, not only a bit, of Michael Jackson’s song “Bad”.

Meanwhile I really KNOW that our God is funny despite all the pain His presence has caused my old self which dies hard (oh – another allusion).  😉 The pain of being deeper and deeper exposed in His light as a true “nothingness” in God’s and in my own eyes (cf. Romans 7), finally means the beginning of real freedom. The freedom to admit every bad thought at once – and you might be surprised, but there are ONLY bad thoughts springing from the old self. The freedom I experience today is so different from anything I knew before that I thought I should share it with you.

Susanne Schuberth’s Spiritual Diary (Part 2) – “When I was biking…”

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darkness, doubts, experience, eyes of the heart, faith, fun, God, healing, humor, miracles, pain, true faith

CYCLING COME WHAT MAY
(Photo Credits http://www.theguardian.com/environment/bike-blog/2012/oct/26/winter-cycling-tactics-alaska)

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December 23, 2014 (Tuesday)

In the afternoon when I was biking, I suddenly got a strange tooth ache caused by an inflammation of the nerves which normally lasts for a few days (at least). Since I was frustrated with God today more than once, I was not in the mood of a humble prayer. Instead I tried to ignore Him. However, I got more and more mad at God because of the pain while riding and I had to talk with someone about it.

Outside of the city and even beyond the bounds of smaller villages, there were only God and me. So, with whom could I have talked about my anger? But the only thing I told Him was, “Oh, another pain? Not only in my heart as almost always – okay… You are God, You can do as you wish and can I do nothing about it.”
Shortly afterwards I thought about praying for healing, but NO – that was not a good idea, and it was certainly not mine as I declared by turning to Him again, “You know that I have no faith in such things any longer.” Actually, there was a time when I had this kind of faith, but that was long ago. So I kept on riding.

On Receiving (More of) the Holy Spirit

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Baptism in the Holy Spirit, experience, Gerhard Tersteegen, Holy Spirit, light, prayer, spiritual power

Light over Limp Leaves (Photo taken by Susanne Schuberth)

Here’s the empty-minded blogger again. If I had enough time, I could write day and night. However, I never know about what to write. That is somehow funny, isn’t it…
In fact, I was just reminded of those situations in the past when I was sitting for an exam, in front of me some blank sheets of paper and a big brown envelope with still unknown questions or some conceptual formulations in it. How uneasy I always felt until the envelope was open! And how anxious until I had read what I had to do, fearing there could have been a challenge I was not able to cope with.

But today the situation is different. If there was such a brown envelope, it would be empty. No question for me. No conceptual formulation, no task but to write. And there will be no one who will give me bad marks if I fail or high marks if the article turns out to be readable. Honestly, that is relieving. 🙂