A Hard Lesson to Learn

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circumcision of the heart, darkness, dying to self, experience, Fellowship of His Sufferings, following Jesus, God's love, joy, Morning Star, pain, Sickness, suffering, T.A. Sparks, the dark night of the soul, the mind of Christ

Wendelstein/Upper Bavaria
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth)

This will be a rather short blog post since I am not doing that well at the moment. Before sharing with you what I have learned lately, inspired by an exchange with a sister, I offer you two quotes from Francis of Sales who said,

“The indifferent heart is like a ball of wax in God’s hands, ready to accept all the impressions of his eternal good pleasure. It does not place its love in the things God wills, but in the will of God who wills them.”

“A truly loving heart loves God’s good pleasure, not only in consolations, but also in afflictions….”

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“Close your eyes and see!”

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darkness, dream life, experience, eyes of the heart, faith, God's love, heart, light, spiritual power, thought life

My companion on a prayer walk yesterday…
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth)

You might think I am crazy and, perhaps, you are right. 😊 Just now as I was randomly browsing my older blog posts on here, rereading what I could see up to the ‘read-more-tag’ (aka “Continue reading…”), I was hit by a Scripture I had copied and pasted beneath one of my pictures. What struck me was the following (highlighted) part of 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 which reads,

“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” (2 Cor 4:17-18 ESV)

We know that God’s truth is most often so simple that it can easily be ignored, or even laughed about by someone who does not know God and wants to have it a bit more sophisticated to please their intellectual mind. But not so with our humorous God who turns into ridicule what people say who think they got Him all figured out. We read,

Love is Obedience, not Feelings

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anger, anxiety, darkness, doubts, encouragement, experience, faith, fears, feelings, God's Humor, God's love, heart, joy, love, mind, obedience, peace, self-will, thought life, true faith, worries

After the Sunset…
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth, colors enhanced by Michael Clark)

Just for clarification, having chosen this particular title, I did not want to suggest that God’s love would not provide a wide range of wonderful feelings, both for our soul and body, that are intrinsic features of an abundant life in Christ (cf. Jn 10:10). Rather, my intention was to point to the fact that our walk with God is often characterized by a lack of good feelings when we find ourselves in another trial where we suffer according to His will. We might also call our walk with Him in these times a mere walk of faith. It is in these times where we learn to trust in what we cannot see (yet) and in what we cannot understand (yet).

Ha! While writing I just had an interesting experience with God I want to share with you.

Knowing God’s heart… intimately

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adultery, being born again, darkness, discerning the spirits, encouragement, exhortation, experience, eyes of the heart, following Jesus, George Michael, God's love, homosexuality, Jesus Christ, light, prayer, salvation, Satan, sin

Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” (Jn 3:3 ESV) –
Photo by Susanne Schuberth

It is not for me easy to define intimacy, even more difficult regarding my relationship with God. Maybe, an example might help here. Yesterday morning as I was thinking about someone who died four days ago, I closed my eyes and looked at Jesus in my spirit. I recall that I did not say anything, neither loudly nor silently in my mind, but my question was heard by Him, nonetheless. This person who died was famous and some might know that I write about British pop star George Michael who died at the age of 53. I did not know that much about him, I only remember some of his songs that touched me in a certain way, especially ‘Last Christmas’ where he sang,

“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special…”

Prayerlessness profits nothing

Tags

darkness, discerning the spirits, exhortation, experience, following Jesus, God's love, Jesus Christ, light, Martin Luther, Michael Clark, prayer, Satan, T.A. Sparks, walking by the spirit

Impressions from snowless Fürth/Bavaria in December 2016
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth)

After midnight and just before going to bed I often read T. Austin Sparks’ daily devotional. Sometimes his words strike me so that I need to copy and paste them, knowing that might turn out another blog article, although I rarely know what I am going to write about in detail. From my own experiences, I can confirm that these days when I am hindered through people, pain or problems to spend more time alone with God than usual (i.e., two or three times a day), my mental condition is not the best. I am more vulnerable, impatient, more easily discouraged and I am easily stressed out as well. Also, it is more difficult for me to discern God’s voice from others AND to finally obey His leading, too.

Knowing the Lord through the Fellowship of His Sufferings

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being born again, darkness, discerning the spirits, experience, following Jesus, heart, knowing God, suffering, T.A. Sparks, the cross, the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit, the new self, the old self

The Visual Bible: Matthew
(Source http://hsbnoticias.com/cine/movies/148050-the-visual-bible-matthew)

All human beings suffer. It begins with being born when both mother and child must suffer until they have been fully separated from one another. Suffering continues when we grow up and see that this world is not what we hoped for or expected it to be. Neither are we perfect, nor is it our environment including the people we know. We may have had many wishes and desires in our lifetime of which only a few were fulfilled. Or worst case, even none of them! Furthermore, we suffer from diseases we would not have chosen if we had been asked before. We suffer from being rejected and misunderstood, from being hurt and offended, and so on and so on…

Get Thee Out… and move on

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darkness, discerning the spirits, dying to self, experience, following Jesus, God's love, intimacy, joy, light, Michael Clark, pain, resisting temptation, suffering, the new self, the old self

 

“For the LORD thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God.” (Dt 4:24 KJV) – Photo by Susanne Schuberth

I do not know as yet what this blog post will turn out like and I need to admit it is a pretty hard one for me. So I prayed to the Lord that He might help me by adding His wisdom and thoughts on what He has been teaching me during the last few weeks.

Only honesty before GOD will set us free

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darkness, deception, discerning the spirits, dying to self, exhortation, following Jesus, prayer, spiritual power, T.A. Sparks, the new self, the old self, true faith

“And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.” (Hos 2:18-20 ESV)
Photo by Susanne Schuberth

I would have never imagined that seeing myself at the worst, incapable of anything which is good and able to commit EVERY sin if put in the ‘proper’ circumstances would be the entering wedge to spiritual freedom in the kingdom of God. Actually, as soon as we stop trying to appear, even if only a wee little bit better than we really are in our old and fallen nature, God comes closer and closer in order to share HIS heart and mind with us. I believe we need to first fully recognize in what kind of prison we have lived for all our life and to despair of our inability to set ourselves free in any way. We need to be so fed up with our old ways of thinking and behaving that we more and more cry out to God to give us a new heart and the mind of Christ. We must knock on heaven’s door like the persistent widow as described here.

Awakened to a New Life… IN Christ

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awakened, being born again, darkness, discerning the spirits, encouragement, eternal life, exhortation, experience, experiencing eternal life, fellowship, Fellowship with God, God's love, Jesus Christ, light, Oneness, Paul Schuberth, Satan, sin, T.A. Sparks, the new self, the old self

“Bring me a worm that can comprehend a man, and then I will show you a man that can comprehend the Triune God.” – John Wesley
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth)

This is not a new post. I put this article as a featured blog entry before all others on my home page since after rereading, I just found out that this writing expresses now, more than one year later, a lot of what I have been going through since then. As for publishing new and inspired blog posts, I will have to wait for Him to inspire me once again in the days ahead, whenever that may be. 😉

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Lately I began to wonder when this seemingly endless process of dying to self finally would be over. To be completely honest with you, I had given up any hope of ever seeing His light again, just as the apostle Paul said here, “… we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” (2 Cor 1:8-9 ESV) Just now as I checked the context of these verses, I saw some encouragement I unintentionally had ignored before. Paul wrote there,

Under the shadow of His wings

Tags

Becky Johnson, darkness, dying to self, exhortation, experience, light, Oswald Chambers, pain, the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit, the new self, the old self

Our God is a consuming FIRE
(Photo credits http://eskipaper.com/awesome-volcano-wallpaper.html#gal_post_29139_awesome-volcano-wallpaper-1.jpg)

I have been struggling a lot with dying-to-self pains lately. For those who wonder how that might feel, it is as if your inmost being (mainly heart and belly region) is getting burned after one or more flashes of lightning had struck you. Whenever God fills me surprisingly with His light, it often occurs as flashes of bright light I can see moving very swiftly from head to toe through my whole body. And a few hours later, the pain begins. Just lately I have begun to sense an increasing fire in my bones that causes both intense pains for the old self, just as the new self is irresistibly drawn toward the Eternal God, away from all that is created. Although it is extremely painful to lose all those natural attachments to which we might have been used for decades, there is an invisible power and an indescribable love that surpasses all understanding. However, it cannot be felt with our natural senses at all and before we get there, we must die to everything which once caused those fears that were related to our loved ones who we naturally love with a love that is common to all human beings. Also, nostalgic feelings regarding past events die away gradually. In fact, everything that had a deep connection to our old Adam nature and his heart is being stripped off. That hurts as if countless sharp knives were enucleating the heart until nothing is left of the old self. But instead of continuing to complain or lament on here, I copy and paste a quote which Becky Johnson recently made me aware of.