December 23, 2014 (Tuesday)
In the afternoon when I was biking, I suddenly got a strange tooth ache caused by an inflammation of the nerves which normally lasts for a few days (at least). Since I was frustrated with God today more than once, I was not in the mood of a humble prayer. Instead I tried to ignore Him. However, I got more and more mad at God because of the pain while riding and I had to talk with someone about it.
Outside of the city and even beyond the bounds of smaller villages, there were only God and me. So, with whom could I have talked about my anger? But the only thing I told Him was, “Oh, another pain? Not only in my heart as almost always – okay… You are God, You can do as you wish and can I do nothing about it.”
Shortly afterwards I thought about praying for healing, but NO – that was not a good idea, and it was certainly not mine as I declared by turning to Him again, “You know that I have no faith in such things any longer.” Actually, there was a time when I had this kind of faith, but that was long ago. So I kept on riding.