The Secret Fundament of Being Useful for God

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desert, discerning the spirits, dying in the wilderness, dying to self, eternal fire, experience, fellowship, fire, flesh, following Jesus, God's love, honesty, living water, Moses, natural life, revelation, Roger T. Forster, T.A. Sparks, true ministry

Roger T. Forster, whose article “Making History with God” I found in T. Austin Sparks’ library online, would write,

“God is writing history, but He is drawing men into fellowship with Himself as He does so, making them the occasion for a chapter in His book of the story of humanity. There is a chapter for Noah, a chapter for Abraham, a chapter for Moses and many others, and a chapter for you and me. He calls us to share in His great declaration, ‘I am bringing to pass what I am bringing to pass’, encouraging us to be like Moses, a hole in the ground filled with His living water, or a common bush, aflame with the unquenchable fire of His love, so that He can use us in His great movement of liberation.”

https://www.austin-sparks.net/mags/ttm01-5.html

Awe-struck with the Fear of God leaves no room for diplomacy

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discerning the spirits, exhortation, experience, fire, following Jesus, God's love, T.A. Sparks, the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit, the fear of God

Picture taken from http://shawnsikkema.com/fear-god-exodus-2018-20/

Well, our God is full of surprises. Almost only vegetating, captured in the dark night of the Spirit for a seemingly endless time, I had become used to only see my countless weaknesses, my failures, and my utter inability to bring forth anything which is good in God’s sight. Although I never felt condemned by what I saw inside me, I really longed to get rid of that old self which hindered me to do what God and I (!) really wanted to do (cf. Romans 7). Furthermore, satanic attacks day and night made sleep an almost impossible thing to do. My frail health and the conviction that I was in a worse spiritual condition as I had been before I would come to know Jesus in 1995 made me hate my old life. Somehow it dawned on me that there is no REAL life apart from being allowed to live in God’s permanent peaceful presence. Everything else is hell! Whatever I tried to get back to Him, it did not work any longer. My prayers resembled helpless cries for help and left me empty as if I had been talking with a dead wall instead of with the living God. It really felt as if God had abandoned me in a dark and frightening cellar, left without the hope to ever return to Him whom I once knew and loved. I recalled dimly that I had experienced several times of spiritual highs in the past that made me share the fear of God and Christ’s authority in me. However, I still had to deal with so many triggers because of deep wounds and fears inside my soul so that God had to take me through that “acid cure” where all that which is not of Him must eventually die.

Susanne Schuberth’s Spiritual Diary (Part 1) – “Seeing the Invisible Realm”

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arrow, dreams, ecstasy, experience, fire, God, heart, love, pierced, prayer, spiritual power, visions

Love Heart Arrow Black Wallpaper (Layoutsparks.com)

I decided to translate some parts of my spiritual diary from German into the English language.

Between January 2010 and December 2011 I described my everyday experiences with God in a very detailed way that displays how adventurous and surprising it is to walk in the Spirit with God and Jesus; actually, it could easily be compared with the ups and down while riding on a rollercoaster.

Perhaps this whole thing turns out a series – or not, since I never know beforehand what God nudges me to do or write in the very next moment. Well, this entry, at least is kind of the beginning of sharing my detailed records… 😉

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