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Albert Barnes, discerning the spirits, exhortation, experience, God's love, grace, joy, love, peace, Truth in Love

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Speaking the truth in love is not something we can do on our own. Actually, we need to love our Creator through Jesus Christ, so that we can behave toward all other human beings (including ourselves) as we should. If God wants us to take a stand, we should do it, of course. However, if we are not IN love with God, what will happen then? That is most probably something some of us already did: we tried to speak the truth in love by telling others what we believed, and perhaps it was really the truth (!), but we did not wait on the Lord to nudge us to do so and thus it got all harsh and judgmental. 😦 We might have even felt that there was something wrong about it and thus we added some pleasantry in order to show that we really loved the other person. Well, I am afraid that is not the way God intended it to be.
Now, let us look at it the other way round. Just imagine, someone insulted you severely and told you afterwards that they loved you, though. How would you feel? Some people might even think there is something like “righteous anger” when they express “the truth” by attacking others although they simply obeyed their fleshly desire to be right. But “the anger of man does NOT produce the righteousness of God.” (Js 1:20 ESV – emphasis mine) The righteousness of God has been imputed on us if we have been enabled, by God’s grace, to live IN Christ. Then we may enjoy His peace, His love, His righteousness, that is, everything His Spirit provides, by merely abiding in His love. Dear brothers and sisters, is it fun to realize that we cannot do anything (which is truly good) apart from Him? But it is the truth! Everything we do or say apart from His Spirit’s guidance, even though it might be true, will not bring forth the righteousness of God.
The principle of waiting on God for His proper timing also refers to what we say about others. It does matter what and especially how we talk about others, all the more if we do so publicly. In fact, it is not the same thing to judge what might be wrong about a certain teaching, a specific movement, or today’s church system and to mock other human beings simply because we disagree with them. This is certainly not what God wants to see His children do. The world may keep doing so because it does not know God (cf. 1 Jn 5:19). But if we as Christians do the same, we will grieve the Holy Spirit since God loves ALL people on earth as they are HIS creation! And Jesus Christ is the Savior of the whole world! If we despise someone God has created in His image, we despise their Creator also. Whether we speak about politicians, religious personalities, celebrities of all kind, or even about family members, may we wait on God to show us if what we say or write about them is pleasant in His eyes and in theirs also. I know that the truth might hurt sometimes and if God wants us to take a stand, we will offend others at times, too, but may we be sure of abiding in His love before we speak up for Him.
In closing, I offer you an exposition from Albert Barnes on Ephesians chapter 4, verse 15, where speaking “the truth in love” to our brothers and sisters is mentioned.
(1) The truth is “to be spoken” – the simple, unvarnished truth. This is the way to avoid error, and this is the way to preserve others from error. In opposition to all trick, and art, and cunning, and fraud, and deception, Christians are to speak the simple truth, and nothing but the truth. Every statement which they make should be unvarnished truth; every promise which they make should be true; every representation which they make of the sentiments of others should he simple truth. “Truth is the representation of things as they are;” and there is no virtue that is more valuable in a Christian than the love of simple truth.
(2) the second thing is, that the truth should be spoken “in love.” There are other ways of speaking truth. It is sometimes spoken in a harsh, crabby, sour manner, which does nothing but disgust and offend. When we state truth to others, it should be with love to their souls, and with a sincere desire to do them good. When we admonish a brother of his faults, it should not be in a harsh and unfeeling manner, but in love. Where a minister pronounces the awful truth of God about depravity, death, the judgment, and future woe, it should be in love. It should not be done in a harsh and repulsive manner; it should not he [sic] done as if he rejoiced that people were in danger of hell, or as if he would like to pass the final sentence; it should not be with indifference, or in a tone of superiority. And in like manner, if we go to convince one who is in error, we should approach him in love. We should not dogmatize, or denounce, or deal out anathemas. Such things only repel. “He has done about half his work in convincing another of error who has first convinced him that he loves him;” and if he does not do that, he may argue to the hour of his death and make no progress in convincing him.
http://www.studylight.org/commentaries/bnb/view.cgi?bk=48&ch=4
Susanne, great post… I love that quote from Barnes, “He has done about half his work in convincing another of error who has first convinced him that he loves him;” and if he does not do that, he may argue to the hour of his death and make no progress in convincing him.”
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Thank you very much, Michael! 🙂
Indeed, the quote you love hit me too. I thought it was a good thing that it closed the post so that it might linger in the memory… 😉
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Susanne, in the late 70’s I was doing all sorts of outwardly “prophetic” things. I mistakenly thought of myself as Old Testament type prophet…. you know come up to somebody that I had no in depth relationship with and give them a “Thus saith the Lord….!” and leave. One pastor that I tried that with told me that he would not consider anything I said as from God until I had become a member of his congregation and had showed myself faithful to attend for at least six months.
In a way he was right. We should prove ourselves faithful to love people in a real way if we want them to listen to anything we say that is corrective. Most “prophets” today think in terms of being another Elijah from far away Tishba, get in Ahab’s face and “poof” he is gone! That is not the New Testament gift of prophesy in action, though. The ones we read about in the book of Acts were part of the local body of the church, not lone rangers.
The problem with what this pastor said was that I could have been a member of his church for five years and probably never have got to know him or he me on a personal level! This seems to be the norm for Sunday Christianity these days. Very few pastors have an intimate relationship with their sheep and again, this is just as wrong as the self-styled “drive-by” prophet that comes in, shoots and leaves. Jesus shows us the difference in John ch. 10, for the good shepherd calls his sheep by name and is there with them when they need help. It is a very personable relationship. There are WAY too many hirelings these days who are all about building numbers and NOT about relationships!
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Yes, Michael, relationship matters. First, we need a loving relationship with our Creator and then with one another. All by God’s grace, of course, as a gift from Him who loves us.
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I guess some people are speed readers! Ha!
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Yes, indeed.
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Susanne, you are absolutely right about the need to first be in love with our Father before we try to speak HIS truth in love to another. Thanks for sharing this. ❤
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You’re very welcome, Michael. 🙂
Thanks for putting the emphasis on HIS love since any other love won’t do.
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You both are so right. Sometimes when I feel offended I get defensive and then become self righteous like how dare you! God help me with that. This was definitely a good blog for me to read. I am so sorry. This seems to be the biggest area I need to work on. And I do love the Lord with all my heart but when certain things crop up that love goes right out the door! I need to keep learning from you two. But one thing I do know that I do not do is tell people they are going to hell. I am not God. I can’t tell anyone that. I have very little understanding of hell anyways so I would rather encourage goodness and love. Especially with family. Please forgive me if you seen anything out of line? I already asked God to. Thank you!
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You’re very welcome, my sister. ❤
Stacey, I cannot write exhortations that have not been a real test for me beforehand as well. I always need to endure His scrutinizing light in my heart and mind (which is painful) before HE nudges me to write about those things He is displeased with. So, I am never an exception, but sitting in the same boat as all others do.
What you wrote about being triggered, yes, I know that one too. And if the Lord does not set us free from these reactions of the flesh, we have no chance to change that – ever. Even if someone remains silent instead of having an emotional outbreak after having been triggered, God knows our very hearts. And only He can give us a new heart.
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I LIKE the way you put it Sue in your post and it brought to mind something I was reading earlier–it was a quote I came up with from a commentary on Galatians–To walk by Gods being means our steps are by His control ever progressively becoming more in tune with His characiture and others will see it.Thanks for the reminder.
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You’re very welcome, Kenny. Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂
I do agree that He directs our steps. And if we do not listen to His guidance, we will sense it immediately because we lose His peace and restlessness sets in, instead.
BTW, I hope all went well for you on Monday…? 🙄
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Yes it did and by Gods intervention I am at peace with the outcome
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I am relieved to hear that, Ken.
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Glad to hear that, Ken! “For you shall not go out with haste, nor go by flight: for the LORD will go before you; and the God of Israel will be your rear guard.” (Isa 52:12, KJ2000)
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This is a most convicting post with regards to much that I have going through in recent weeks. Thank you. Will prayerfully consider my words.
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You’re very welcome, dear Becky. ❤
As I said to Stacey above, we are all sitting in the same boat. The only one who never made mistakes was Jesus. Before writing about such things, God convicts me before as well. Not fun, but necessary in order to not get proud or to think there would be anything which is good dwell in my old Adam nature (flesh).
May God bless you and keep you!
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Thank you for this gentle guidance, Susanne. ❤ For me, one of the worst things Christians can do is radiate self-righteousness while they lambast others for the very sins they, themselves, are guilty of committing. That destroys the Christian witness, turning untold numbers away from Christ.
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You’re most welcome, dear Anna. ❤
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This is a strong but good message. Thank you.
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Yes, for sure it is strong, Fred. We should only know that we cannot “produce” real love (read agape) with our old self that will never change. Indeed, our old Adam nature is totally depraved as Paul in Romans 7 confirmed (“wretched man”).
The good news is that God loves us and wants to pour His love into our very hearts so that we can love like Jesus loves, with the NEW heart and the NEW mind of the NEW creation born from above. IN Christ everything is possible, but apart from Him nothing which is truly good will ever be brought forth by any human being.
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