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being born again, discerning the spirits, dying to self, encouragement, entering his rest, experience, eyes of the heart, faith, following Jesus, freedom, grace, Jesus Christ, joy, mind, peace, rest, suffering, the cross, the devil, The Holy Spirit, thought life, walking by the spirit
Before sitting down in front of my computer, I had no clue as to whether I would ever write and publish again, neither had I any idea about what to write at all. Hesitatingly, I had checked out my blog “Entering the Promised Land”. Jesus recently told me to delete those three drafts of blog posts I had started writing during the last six months. One might ask what has happened during this rather long period since February this year after I had published Speak My Words. Indeed, it was exactly THIS! Our Lord taught me to rather speak than to write. This particular lesson had begun with a close observation of my conversational and thought habits.
The more I got aware of my unguarded moments, the more I also saw and felt the consequences thereof. Let me give you a short example. We had several heat waves and an ever-increasing drought in Germany lately. Often it was impossible to sit in our apartment in the evening as it was so hot and sticky. Instead of enough oxygen, there was ozone in the air that affected my body with breathing problems, dizziness, headaches, and nausea. So, when there was at least a little wind outside, I preferred sitting on one of our balconies, waiting there until I could not keep my eyes open any longer.
A few weeks ago I felt drained, both from the weather and from personal trials. As I was sitting in my chair on the balcony, I started watching some clouds that looked like cotton balls. These clouds were slowly racking over the night sky, from the left to the right side toward St. Paul’s church. The longer I watched them, the more restful I felt. As my overworked mind was no longer able to process any new information, I was surprised to suddenly enjoy an emptiness inside which got increasingly filled with God’s presence, full of joy and peace. I was so grateful for this experience of deep rest, wondering whether such a state could last for a long time or at least on a more continuous level, too.
Suddenly I heard the Holy Spirit speak to my heart, “Look at your thoughts.” The first thing I realized was that I had started to compare my experience with former ones of a similar kind. Then I felt a sort of fear of losing God’s tender presence again. Afterwards I was reminded of this and that person, of the past and of the future, and so on and so on. And believe it or not, His peace and joy were gone. Therefore I asked God to help me focus on Him instead. As soon as He had led my thoughts back to His Person, His heartfelt presence brought me to rest once again. This on and off process lasted for a certain time as to sensing God’s divine life and reality in the here and now or to escape into my old tedious thought habits.
I saw how impossible it is to leave this old nature behind on our own. How often have I tried, though, and I failed? 🙄 When we are in pains, weak and tired, it seems to be much easier to follow our well-trodden paths 
of thinking, speaking, and reacting as it needs less energy to ‘go’ there. But no, dear brothers and sisters. This has been another lie from the devil. Our old thought life is extremely limited to what we have come to know and what we have experienced. Furthermore, it costs a lot of our life time, it works like a prison we cannot leave and it eats away the joy we could already possess in Christ as He has secured it for us. Our new life in Christ can only be found there in Him who is above all powers and principalities. Eternal life can never be found in ourselves nor here on the earth. Instead, we need the Holy Spirit’s power to translate our spirits into this new position on God’s throne where He made us sit with Christ. As we have been born into His kingdom by God Himself, we can also see His kingdom when He has opened our eyes, and then we come to know the heavenlies by His grace alone, too.
For such a long time it appeared to me that the compensations of our Christian life were not that powerful in my own life than they should have been (according to my expectations). Whether it was physical, mental, or spiritual pain, suffering seemed to be predominant for years, yeah, even decades. Many of us might remember that the beginning of our life with Jesus Christ as the living God was a time of great hope, of peace, and of joy. But then, after a first honeymoon, the reality of this earthly life and our natural reactions to adverse circumstances obscured the former bright light of the gospel. What had happened?
It was just lately that our Lord made me aware of how continuous peace can become reality for us. As long as our minds and hearts wander about to find some life and pleasure on this earth apart from seeking the Lord first, we will be disappointed again and again. Nothing this world has to offer is in itself of eternal value. However, if the Holy Spirit, once again by God’s grace alone, has enabled us to focus on Christ continually, the following scriptural promise comes to life,
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” (Is 26:3 ESV)
BECAUSE HE TRUSTS IN YOU!! Ha, that’s it! A lack of trust in God makes us lose His presence again and again. When we try to control circumstances or people’s (re)actions, when we try to secure a good life on this earth or when we try to find an escape from adversity on our own, we do so because we do not trust God as our only Helper. Therefore God offers us the Cross which already killed our suspicious Adamic nature about 2,000 years ago. Those numerous trials we have to go through serve to bring us to the end of ourselves, to a complete surrender to Christ so that He can eventually live through us. Like Paul said,
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Gal 2:20 ESV)
As a side note, you can see in the picture on the right here the first part of this Bible verse which I found some months ago on an ugly and dirty garbage can right after a bike accident. As I was wondering why God had not protected me, this sticker was one of His answers. The other one was that sometimes He has a reason to let go of protection, even for our good. Honestly, I understood nothing at that time. Only gradually it dawned on me that Jesus more and more took control of my self-life. Not by forcing me in any way, but by always asking me whether I wanted to let go of another area of ‘control’ (thoughts and talks, as mentioned before). Indeed, I so suffered from this strong pull of my thought life that kept me from focusing on Christ more often that I could hardly believe that He would really set me free. Although the pull was strong, His tender Spirit was much stronger. And even my unbelief did not hinder Him as God also gives us, by grace alone, the faith of His beloved Son.
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (Jn 8:36 ESV)
Even if our circumstances do not change (mine haven’t), it is possible to gain a new perspective on our problems and to experience real emancipation from being driven by external demands, internal to-do-lists, and the pressure of obligation, coming from other people who do not know which spirit causes them to do or to say certain things. I want to close with a Scripture Jesus just pointed out me to as I was praying.
“Thou causest me to know the path of life; Fulness of joys is with Thy presence, Pleasant things by Thy right hand for ever!” (Ps 16:11 YLT)
All pictures by Susanne and Paul Schuberth 2022
Entering the Promised Land 
Long time, long read, sister!
A lot of your meditations during this season are quite similar to mine. I’ve been thinking a lot about peace lately. There’s a traditional Jewish song that begins “Oseh shalom bimromav”. “He makes peace in the high places.” We cannot have peace from an earthly perspective. We need eagles’ wings and eyes to grasp this. Yes, we know the theology of being already blessed with every spiritual blessing and seated with Christ. But mundane concerns fog that truth and it can be a real battle to have peace in the midst of external and internal storms.
Like you, I have experienced some touches of that peace and joy beyond understanding… but it comes and goes. Sometimes it takes a thought. 😦
I see our spiritual life as a gradual ascension, and meditating on Psalms 15 and 24 which are about approaching the holy mountain, what stands out to me is truth. We are far from perfect, but we come in repentance, with radical honesty (as least as far as we can see our imperfections and confess them) and a desire to grow in holiness, not in our own efforts but by clinging to Him and allowing His righteousness to be imprinted in our being. We bring dirty feet. Jesus washes them. We see Abba smile. Oh, this part is so important. It took years for me to see Him joyfully singing over me and saying, “I am pleased with you.” Self-condemnation and the enemy’s accusatory voices made me imagine God must be really frowning and shaking His holy head. Now I see His loving hand even when He chastises me. Sometimes, the sense of His presence is so strong that it feels almost as if He was physically hugging me. Being aware of His indescribable love makes it much easier for me to believe the rest of His promises and to think of all that is pure, good, worthy… Because I think of Jesus, the lover of my soul, my Shepherd, my Light, my Savior, my Fortress, my eternal Rock… and honestly, I don’t want to think about anything else! No need to strive, to prove anything to anyone, to do any mighty work. I feel could spend all day singing quiet worship songs, praying, reading the Bible and listening to Him whisper to my ears that I am His and He is mine.
Our 4-year-old recently got diagnosed with epilepsy. He was hospitalized twice in the last few months. I had to quit my job because of stress. This is just one of many struggles. So it has not been an easy time. But through all this, Abba has shown me His love in many little details. And I’m so thankful for this. So I rejoice reading that God is leading you to an increasing sense of His peace and love for you. You are dearly beloved by Daddy. I hope to read more of you in the coming months, and if God doesn’t lead you to write, I pray you’ll be in deep conversations with our Beloved who is the only one who can bring us true rest.
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Despite your difficult circumstances, Carina, you appear to have experienced a renewing of your spiritual relationship with Jesus. I am happy to hear this!! 🤗❤️
You might have already guessed it, I do not know whether our Lord wants me to keep writing or not. But you have been in my heart and prayers, dear sister. Also, I was wondering lately how your dad was doing… 🙏🏼
Every spiritual blessing in Christ!
Your sister Susanne 💕
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Well, dear sister, whatever the Lord desires for you will be what is best for your life and for the people you relate to (your family first and foremost). After 2020, where many of us had to have many virtual meetings (school, work, church, etc.), we need more face-to-face contact and less screen time. If we don’t meet here again, we’ll get to talk a lot more in heaven.
My father… I regret to say that after 18 years of sowing with a lot of patience on my mother, brother and sister (father was usually doing stuff when my husband and I witnessed to them), we had to obey the Lord and let them go their own way. Only God knows whether they will finally get saved. After several instances of my dad name-calling both of my sons (the youngest was 3 at the time, and the insult was really horrible) and at least two situations when my husband was seriously disrespected, and after several warnings I gave my mum, I told them I would not tolerate their abuse anymore, not on my husband and children, and Jesus gave me peace that it was on His direction (with many Bible passages as confirmation), not merely based on my hurt feelings. It’s been three months. My mother’s reactions made it clear to me just how extremely toxic this family system has become. She basically said, “Forgive me, but it’s all your fault.” and proceeded to call me hypersensitive and a lot more offensive things, trying to guilt-trip me into submission, and on several ocassions tried to force me to have a conversation with them. I don’t want them to suffer… But I can’t deal with their emotional garbage at this time. All I want is to get healing and right now my dear husband and my children are my second priority, after Jesus. So I’ve left this situation in God’s hands and focus on what I can do now which is trust Him and rest in His loving arms as He leads me out of the cave of a long depression.
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So sad, my sister. I imagine you must have suffered a lot. But I also sense the Lord has clearly been leading you the way you finally chose.
Take care, Carina. You and yours will remain in my prayers. 🙏🏼🕊️🌈
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Yes. It is painful, but God keeps reminding me I’m no longer an orphan. In fact this crisis has revealed so much that was hidden. I realized the root of my self-sufficient spirit was what psychologists call “learned helplessness”. I basically had to fend for myself growing up because in many areas I was silenced when expressing opinions or feelings and emotionally neglected. So there was a deep sense of distrust, not just in people (none of the close friends I had as a young girl or a teen knew about the abuse, and I didn’t speak about anything that was too painful) but also in God. God apparently didn’t respond to my prayers for deliverance, so I felt God had abandoned me, too. Now I see more of the big picture, and throughout my life He gave me signs that He cares and actually loves me passionately with a jealous love. But it took me almost 45 years (yesterday was my birthday, BTW) to really make any progress in trusting Him. He’s my Father, my Brother, my Friend, my Therapist and everything I need. I continue to pray for my lost family members, but will follow His leading and if I’m not sure what to do, I will wait for His clear nudge that it’s safe to reestablish a dialog with them.
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Belatedly, A Happy and Blessed Birthday to you, dear Carina! ❤
You words are wise and mature, my sister. The Lord must have strengthened you a lot. It is always difficult for us to wait on the Lord, esp. when we want to see our family saved into His kingdom. His timing is not ours (and our flesh does not like that) but His promise still stands,
“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (Lk 19:10 ESV)
On that very day when Zacchaeus repented, salvation came to his whole house as Jesus confirmed (verse 9). We see the same principle when Peter struggled to believe that not only the Jews but also the Gentiles should be saved by God (Acts 11:5-18).
The third witness I remember is the jailer who fell down in front of Paul and Silas after an earthquake had freed them from their bonds.
“Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house.” (Acts 16:30-32 ESV)
I believe God’s principle here is if one person of a household is saved and follows Him closely, the rest of the family will follow later, too, even though we might experience the sword of the spirit before.
34 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.
35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.
36 And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.
37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
38 And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Mt 10:34-39 ESV)
Finding our life in Him after losing our old soulish, fleshly life through daily application of the Cross is, indeed, the other side of the Cross. It is even life abundantly (cf. Jn 10:10) It is eternal life that cannot be destroyed anymore as it is imperishable.
All the best to you and yours, Carina!!
Your sister Susanne ❤
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Dear sister, thank you for all the Scriptures you have shared. It has been very uplifting to read, and is quite in accordance with what the Holy Spirit has been bringing to my attention.
The passages which most came to mind during this season were about Jesus’ family, which had its share of toxicities, and how Jesus was always reminding them of His place, His mission, His priorities, and never allowed anyone, including His own mother, to bring their agendas. Unlike us, He was totally immune to manipulation and emotional blackmail, because His discernment was perfect.
Luke 2:41-52 Jesus at the temple, 12 years old.
Mark 3:20-21,31-35 Jesus’ family try to bring Him home and He refuses to even talk to them. (Quite harsh, right?)
Jn 7:1-10 His brothers want Him to go to Judea and make a “performance” showing everyone He’s the Messiah. He says, I will go when the Father leads me, not in your timing!
Other passages regarding family: Luke 9:59-60 Let the dead bury their own dead. Your priority is to go and preach the kingdom of God! That is, it’s ok to be loyal to family, as long as you remember you have a top priority which is serving God!
And the toughest one, not specifically about family but which I received when asking God when should I resume conversations? was Matthew 23:37-39 With this passage, I felt Jesus saying, I know just how hard you tried to bring them under My wing! Though you experience stoning and killing repeatedly, with every covert or overt rejection, you loved them too much and kept sowing with many tears. But now, it’s time to leave the house deserted and let Me speak. Until they welcome you as someone who has come in My name, someone who has been sent with a message from the Father, you stay in your place, with the family I gave you. Some day my parents and siblings will see. Until then… It’s not my job to bring conviction of sin.
It’s a wonderful work of restoration God has done in my oldest, Samuel, who is now the sweetest and part of this is because when he was insulted I rose up like a lioness and said, You don’t get to touch my cub! We’re having amazing conversations with my boy. The little one has the same “fierce” spirit, haha, he’s the endless energy and there’s some rebellion to subdue by the Spirit. But having made so many mistakes which led to great soul-crushing, I’ve learned that the Christian life is not difficult. It’s impossible! So my job is to surrender daily, more fully every day, and just say, Oh, God, I can’t do this. YOU do it! Now we’re battling with my husband’s persistent depression. I’m not hopeless any more. The other day I had a vision of myself receiving a rod, like Moses’ rod and I felt God was telling me, I’m giving you authority as a warrior. Do not fear, because I have developed in you a conqueror’s heart. And the other day I had a dream where I saw light emanating from me and my husband, and was reminded of 2 Corinthians 4. It’s His light and glory that we carry in vessels of clay.
So even though I have no idea where the Lord is going to lead us in the next few months or years, I know He’s doing something really special in all four of us. We’re being led by His love.
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You are very welcome, my sister.
Carina, it seems to me that God has shown us a bunch of similar things. In particular, this family stuff and how Jesus was always focused on His Father’s concerns first. We find ourselves in the same boat, dear Carina. I felt joy as I read how God has been leading you through dreams and visions as well. 🕊️😇💞
It is wonderful that He comforts you with His peace the way He does in all your troubles. I will be praying for your husband, too. 🙏🏼 What a beautiful family you have! 💐👌🏼
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Carina & Susanne:
The LORD bless you and keep you
The LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you
The LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.
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Thank you so much for this, dear Louise. 💖 The same to you, my sister. 🙏🏼🕊️🌈 What an encouraging Scripture you chose!
May you be blessed and strengthened by Jesus whenever you need it.
In His love,
Susanne ❤️
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Thank YOU, Susanne. It has been a trying time in my life also…your thanks and blessing brought tears to my eyes.
Love in Christ,
Louise
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You are most welcome, Louise. I felt that you were not doing that well whenever I thought of and prayed for you. If you feel led to write, my email address has not changed.
It seems the three of us have gone through trying times…
My heart has been touched as I read my few words made you cry. 💞
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“You are most welcome, Louise. I felt that you were not doing that well whenever I thought of and prayed for you. If you feel led to write, my email address has not changed.
It seems the three of us have gone through trying times…
My heart has been touched as I read my few words made you cry. 💞”
PS
Right after posting this comment to you I wanted to leave the kitchen where I had been sitting (typing on the phone). Looking briefly through the window, I saw a real rainbow. 🌈 😇👍🏼
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Thank you, thank God. Rainbows are a special blessing right now: the double rainbow over Buckingham Palace blessed me, as well.
I have been mourning my sister-in-law, who passed away at 85 in May. I had been helping her for 10 years, although we had known each other for over 40. All that’s left is some of her stuff, and her memory. I mostly cope with her absence, but then something touches the tender place, and I cry…
I am thankful I will see her again.
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You are welcome. Thank God for those three rainbows as you have been blessed by them!
I was so sorry to hear about your loss, Louise. 😦 After you shared that you had a trying time, my heart was aching, too, and I did not know where that pain came from. Now I know… More than 40 years, that’s a very long time. And you supported her for even 10 years. You are a precious and loving woman!! ❤
May God keep comforting you and wrap you in His peace!
A hug,
Susanne
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Thank you for the precious passage you have shared. The Aaronic benediction is actually one of my favorite blessings and I have been meditating a lot of it lately.
Two things wow me in this blessing:
* God shares the radiance of His face with us. He shines on us. His light is warmth, illumination and awareness, security, guidance, His goodness in display.
* God looks at us directly. He doesn’t turn His back on us, as if He was deserting us, unwilling to listen to and see us, as a disdainful judge who dismisses our case. His ears are attentive to our prayers. His eyes are always watching us. He has an unimaginable number of precious thoughts towards us. Many plans and purposes we can’t even fathom.
So even though at the grieving stage you are at it’s really hard to see it, I pray that you will somehow sense how God is holding you, embracing you in your pain, walking with you, carrying you when you can’t walk. He takes every tear and keeps it in His book. He never forgets. He’s right here with you even if you can’t feel it at all.
I pray that He will bring into your life the people He chooses to bring comfort, those who can sit with you, cry with you, listen to you when you need to vent your pain. Jesus, your best friend, and significant relationships whose hearts are full of Christ. One day we’ll be reunited with so many loved ones, and we’ll get to meet a big family we have only met online here… What a big reunion that will be! I look forward to hugging with our big spiritual family. No more tears. No more silly arguments. Just pure love, never again to be marred by sin.
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Thank you, Carina. I have never expanded this blessing as you just did. It is deep and wide, encompassing God’s love.
When I was very young, my mother took me to church. Every week, at the end of the service, the pastor, Mr. Becker, would bless the congregation with those words. They were, I now see, my first memory verse! I remember him and thank God for his service.
Thanks for your prayers, my sister.
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Susanne, you wrote: “It was just lately that our Lord made me aware of how continuous peace can become reality for us.” How precious it is that we have a Shepherd who patiently leads us to to come to fuller and deeper understanding of what is ours in Christ. To think that we may abide in His peace and His rest 24/7? Yes, in Christ is not only intermittent peace, but abiding peace. Let us not settle for less.
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Yes, Allan, we won’t settle for less than His abiding peace! 🙏🏼🕊️👍🏼
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Dear Susanne, Allan, Carina and Louise, I can relate to your trials and comments. I have not written much on the internet (if any) over the last six months.
Five months ago we listed our house here in Coeur d Alene, ID for sale only to find out that the market was shutting down as bank interest rates started climbing and property tax assessments were going higher and prices were declining as well as the amount of eligible buyers. Of coarse we have had to keep our home as a showroom for any buyers that might come buy to see it and this meant that we could not have things out where we could easily find them as needed which has been frustrating. Our home was no longer OURS to live in.
In the midst of all this my wife, Dorothy, and I both caught Covid and ever since my drive and energy have declined. My memory has also seriously declined and now I am told that my parathyroid glands are out of whack which causes me to be tired most of the time and lack the energy I used to have. Least I give you a whole “organ recital” I will go no further on that subject. 🙂
I was blessed by what Carina shared about the love of the Lord that she was experiencing and I relate to all the condemnation and legalism that you and Susanne have had to go through. The burden of the internal laws that we have accumulated along the way can be great. “I should… and I should not…”
About three weeks ago I met an ex-pastor who left the pulpit to follow the leading of the Spirit in his life and walk by faith letting God lead him and supply his needs as an ambassador of His love to others as a gifted councilor. He asked me if I was going to a church in our area and I told him that I wasn’t and that it was a long story why I was not. He said he want to hear my story so we had lunch together a couple days later and he sat there and let me tell my testimony of my experience in Christ and a myriad of churches over the last 54 years. What amazed me is that He just let me talk with true interest and share my many woes (as well as victories) which Jesus seemed to be a part of.
At the end he said something that really touched me. He said that most Christians think that when we go to heaven we will spend all eternity standing around God’s throne giving He and Jesus praises. But it is not that way. They will be pouring their great love out on us and letting us know how much they love us as individual members of their great family until all that religious guilt and inferiority imposed on us through our lives is washed away. Then he quoted part of John ch. 17 which I have been pondering over the last 15 years hoping to gain in my heart a deeper understanding of what Jesus prayed just before He went to the cross.
“…that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us… The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me AND HAVE LOVED THEM AS YOU HAVE LOVED ME.” (John 17:21-23, ESV2011)
As he shared God’s great love I could feel it flowing into me. You see, my whole life has been a great struggle with legalism and guilt and to receive any love or acceptance from God or one of His dear saints seemed to bounce off me most of the time. I relate to the following passage about Jesus in a personal way…
“Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed? For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” (Isa 53:1-5, KJV)
Yes, “He has borne Our griefs and carried Our sorrows.” But with His stripes and His great love we are healed.
Bless you all with His great love,
Michael
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I am so glad you are back, Michael! 🤗🙏🏼🕊️💞👍🏼
Thank you for sharing your struggles so openly with all of us on here. As Christ’s members we all belong to the same Body since it is the same Holy Spirit Who lives in us. How could we not suffer if one member suffers?
This early morning I awoke after about three hours sleep once again with strong pains in the heart area. I was so tired and wanted to get back to sleep. But as you know yourself, heart pains are always a frightening experience even if we do not fear death itself anymore.
At first I started to complain and lament why I still have all these many post covid symptoms (even after two years and almost eight months). That ‘prayer procedure’ did not help that much. Quite the contrary, I felt bitterness arising in my heart and a pull to withdraw from Jesus’ presence.
But no, that was not what I wanted as His presence is the only ‘thing’ that makes my life on earth worthwhile. I saw that I did not trust Him to set me free and thus I pleaded and pleaded for being set free from this struggle. Jesus told me to sleep on the other side which I normally don’t do (the right one). And so I rolled on the right side. The pain slowly subsided and I could sleep for about three hours again.
I saw, again, that the Scripture I quoted in the blog is really true. Our mind withdraws from Christ as soon as we do not trust Him anymore. Our thoughts are circling around problems, people, and situations (real or imaginary). The result of this focus is death as it is the flesh at work.
However, as soon as Christ has set us free (I think we need to ask Him first), God again wraps us in HIS perfect peace and helps us to stay focused on Himself.
What an amazing God!
As you know, my dear brother, you have always been in my heart and prayers. And that will never change, thank God in Christ!
Your sister Sanne forever 🙏🏼🕊️💞
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Like you both, I have experienced some health issues lately. I am an incorrigible over thinker (and only by God’s grace will I overcome this) and this typically results in insomnia. I used to get very angry with myself when I was fighting the good battle of faith against anxiety and losing. My legalism screamed that I should have peace… but the more I tried, the more impossible it felt (sort of the point God was trying to make). Now I take this as part of a process where JESUS will eventually win, as I stand on His Word, choosing to keep trusting in His light even if I am partially blind to it. Now when I feel I can’t sleep, or when I wake up at 3 AM and can’t fall asleep again, I pray, not as a “must do” spiritual discipline, but because I want to be with God and be thankful in every circumstance. I read the Bible and reflect, inasmuch as my tiredness allows it. I listen to quiet worship music. I enjoy God’s love towards me. His sufficiency at work. He never slumbers nor sleeps.
I think a lot about Jacob at PenuEl. All I want is to see God’s face turned towards me. His radiance. HE’s fighting with my flesh. My old stubborn ways often need a bit of tough love like Jacob received. But it’s our choice to stop fighting against what God is doing and cling to Him. I take your cup, God. I’ll drink it all. But please bless me! Break me and change me because I cannot change myself!
Jacob entered PenuEl a fearful man. He discerned Esau still hated him and would kill him if he had the chance. But when God Himself fought with him and Jacob survived, he was no longer under self-condemnation. GOD had judged him (not sparing the rod) and declared him an overcomer. So he could face Esau and anyone knowing God would protect him.
We can also face all of life’s afflictions, including physical death, knowing that the second death has no power over us. That’s freedom!
I pray for us all, that Jesus will be our all in all, our hope of glory, our joy and peace, our wisdom, indeed, our very life!
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Thanks for your prayers, Carina! 🙏🏼🕊️👍🏼
As for insomnia and over-analyzing, I too can relate. 😏 But I can also blame the lack of hormones and esp. of melatonin. Beginning in our forties, some of us women either fall asleep and wake up after only a few hours (two, three or four) or we cannot fall asleep at all until the sun comes up. I have always been an overthinker, yet this kind of struggle was new to me before.
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