Endurance… despite it all

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authority, discerning the spirits, dying to self, exhortation, experience, faith, glory, John of the Cross, resurrection power, self-will power, spiritual power, suffering, surrender, T.A. Sparks, the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit

Germany’s highest church: Wendelstein Church/Upper Bavaria
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth)

I recall that someone once told me that they would continue to write and publish when they were through with their trials and everything was clearer to them. Well, as much as I have been tempted to share this point of view, more and more it appears to me that there ist no end of trials in this life, or is it? Sometimes God keeps us covered by His both unseen and unfelt protection in a deeply dark condition where all good things seem to have come to their very end. The stage of testing where mere and naked faith in God puts us through may last for a few days, for some weeks, for several months or even for many, many years. The length of that period is dependent on what God has in mind regarding our personal spiritual growth. It was John of the Cross who realized that the deeper the night, the higher the glory and divine authority we will be able to share afterwards (whenever afterwards is experienced).

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Knowing the Lord through the Fellowship of His Sufferings

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being born again, darkness, discerning the spirits, experience, following Jesus, heart, knowing God, suffering, T.A. Sparks, the cross, the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit, the new self, the old self

The Visual Bible: Matthew
(Source http://hsbnoticias.com/cine/movies/148050-the-visual-bible-matthew)

All human beings suffer. It begins with being born when both mother and child must suffer until they have been fully separated from one another. Suffering continues when we grow up and see that this world is not what we hoped for or expected it to be. Neither are we perfect, nor is it our environment including the people we know. We may have had many wishes and desires in our lifetime of which only a few were fulfilled. Or worst case, even none of them! Furthermore, we suffer from diseases we would not have chosen if we had been asked before. We suffer from being rejected and misunderstood, from being hurt and offended, and so on and so on…

LOVE is YOU

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discerning the spirits, encouragement, experience, God's love, intimacy, life, light, love, Michael Clark, sanctification, the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit, the Kingdom of God, the new self, the old self

After sunrise in the Public Pool (Fürth/Scherbsgraben)
Photo by Susanne Schuberth

After a pretty long and dry period without much inspiration, here is another joint article by Michael Clark and me.

Satan is a liar. And he is very good at that. He tells us to worry about tomorrow because God would not care or provide. Therefore, we fear the future although we might know there are Scriptures which promise the opposite of what the devil keeps whispering into our ears. If we are tempted to sin, our enemy embellishes the act of sinning and plays the consequences down by offering us only good feelings that should make us fall asleep spiritually. And what is worst, Satan tries to convince us that God could NEVER give us what he, Satan, offers. Instead, he presents God as a someone who would take everything from us which would, if we listened to the devil, make our life worthwhile (I am mainly referring to sin here). Although we might spell out the appropriate Bible verses to the angel of light, he will only laugh at us, knowing that our natural heart is terribly wicked and inclined to commit every sin imaginable if the right conditions were presented to us.

My New Life…

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A.W. Tozer, being born again, David Wilkerson, experience, eyes of the heart, feeling, glory, God's love, joy, love, Oswald Chambers, peace, spiritual power, T.A. Sparks, the dark night of the soul, the new self, the old self, thought life

“Chicken on Horse” – (Photo by Susanne Schuberth)

At first an apology to all those readers and followers of my blog who saw that I had published a testimony by David Wilkerson yesterday which I deleted shortly afterwards. Sorry for the inconvenience.  😦 Well, it began to dawn on me lately that I did not dare to write about my own and deepening experiences with God and Jesus as much as I used to in the past. Somehow it was easier for me to let other writers speak up for God, which certainly is a good thing as long as they were truly led by the Holy Spirit. In David Wilkerson’s case I need to admit that I only partly could agree with him since he had been on a different, spiritually lower level as for example Oswald Chambers or A. W Tozer of whom I believe they had reached a higher level than him, or T. Austin Sparks who, in my humble opinion, had been on the highest spiritual level because he had really died to self and was able to live continually in the presence of God in Christ’s Spirit. So you might have noticed that my articles more and more turned into teachings that feed the left brain half. However, where did the creative flow go?  😉

Life IN Christ… or the cost of discipleship

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discipleship, Dorothy L. Sayers, dying to self, experience, faith, following Jesus, freedom, God, Jesus Christ, Martin Luther, T.A. Sparks, the cross, the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit, the Kingdom of God, thought life

“And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.” (Mt 19:29 ESV)
Picture by Susanne Schuberth

As I thought about describing the difference between our life inside and outside of God, I thought I could share my own experiences with you on here. Just for clarification, I do not speak about the experience of Christ IN us, that is, about feeling his love, joy and peace merely from the inside. Rather, I refer to a life IN God and His kingdom as a completely new experience that approaches us from the outside by simultaneously filling us up from the inside, too. Sounds complicated, doesn’t it…? We might have received some foretaste of such a life beforehand when we all of a sudden were hit by an awareness of ‘I-do-not-know-what-it-is… but-it-is-wonderful’ as we were watching the sun rise or going down, when we saw nature unfolding its beauty in springtime or fall, or when we shared some self-forgetfulness of any kind, be that with children who played peacefully in a sort of innocence that could almost be “touched” or when we felt a very deep and unconditional love for someone who had treated us badly.

Under the shadow of His wings

Tags

Becky Johnson, darkness, dying to self, exhortation, experience, light, Oswald Chambers, pain, the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit, the new self, the old self

Our God is a consuming FIRE
(Photo credits http://eskipaper.com/awesome-volcano-wallpaper.html#gal_post_29139_awesome-volcano-wallpaper-1.jpg)

I have been struggling a lot with dying-to-self pains lately. For those who wonder how that might feel, it is as if your inmost being (mainly heart and belly region) is getting burned after one or more flashes of lightning had struck you. Whenever God fills me surprisingly with His light, it often occurs as flashes of bright light I can see moving very swiftly from head to toe through my whole body. And a few hours later, the pain begins. Just lately I have begun to sense an increasing fire in my bones that causes both intense pains for the old self, just as the new self is irresistibly drawn toward the Eternal God, away from all that is created. Although it is extremely painful to lose all those natural attachments to which we might have been used for decades, there is an invisible power and an indescribable love that surpasses all understanding. However, it cannot be felt with our natural senses at all and before we get there, we must die to everything which once caused those fears that were related to our loved ones who we naturally love with a love that is common to all human beings. Also, nostalgic feelings regarding past events die away gradually. In fact, everything that had a deep connection to our old Adam nature and his heart is being stripped off. That hurts as if countless sharp knives were enucleating the heart until nothing is left of the old self. But instead of continuing to complain or lament on here, I copy and paste a quote which Becky Johnson recently made me aware of.

If I cannot have YOU…

Tags

dying to self, experience, faith, struggling with God, suffering, the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit, the new self, the old self, the presence of God

Source http://utmost.org/where-the-battle-is-won-or-lost/

Instead of writing another long blog post of my own, I decided to share Oswald Chambers’ devotional from today which describes my current struggles perfectly. Actually, I see more and more clearly that I cannot count on anyone or anything in this world any longer. When the circumstances get tough and you see that you have no influence to change anything whatsoever and that your prayers are not answered, somehow, it seems you have lost the game. Trying to change myself did not work, trying to change my circumstances did not really work, either, and having lost connection and direction from God for quite some time now, made me despair of life itself. Today I had to admit that if I cannot have God, I do not want anything else. Whether it is our families, our careers, our internet presence, our fame and riches (or lack thereof), nothing compares to a continued life in the presence of God. And if He won’t give it to me, then that was it.
Finally, here is the devotional I announced above.

Awe-struck with the Fear of God leaves no room for diplomacy

Tags

discerning the spirits, exhortation, experience, fire, following Jesus, God's love, T.A. Sparks, the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit, the fear of God

Picture taken from http://shawnsikkema.com/fear-god-exodus-2018-20/

Well, our God is full of surprises. Almost only vegetating, captured in the dark night of the Spirit for a seemingly endless time, I had become used to only see my countless weaknesses, my failures, and my utter inability to bring forth anything which is good in God’s sight. Although I never felt condemned by what I saw inside me, I really longed to get rid of that old self which hindered me to do what God and I (!) really wanted to do (cf. Romans 7). Furthermore, satanic attacks day and night made sleep an almost impossible thing to do. My frail health and the conviction that I was in a worse spiritual condition as I had been before I would come to know Jesus in 1995 made me hate my old life. Somehow it dawned on me that there is no REAL life apart from being allowed to live in God’s permanent peaceful presence. Everything else is hell! Whatever I tried to get back to Him, it did not work any longer. My prayers resembled helpless cries for help and left me empty as if I had been talking with a dead wall instead of with the living God. It really felt as if God had abandoned me in a dark and frightening cellar, left without the hope to ever return to Him whom I once knew and loved. I recalled dimly that I had experienced several times of spiritual highs in the past that made me share the fear of God and Christ’s authority in me. However, I still had to deal with so many triggers because of deep wounds and fears inside my soul so that God had to take me through that “acid cure” where all that which is not of Him must eventually die.

Can God Heal?

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A.W. Tozer, being born again, Carl Gustav Jung, darkness, following Jesus, John of the Cross, light, psychology, spiritual power, the cross, the dark night of the senses, the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit, the narrow way, the strait gate

Crooked trees after being pruned… not that beautiful yet 😉
(Photo by Susanne Schuberth)

Now this is a silly question, Susanne! Through the whole Bible we find witnesses who were healed by God, especially in the New Testament. “Yes… but today?” Having been tortured by many sicknesses all my life, my faith in being healed by God is not the strongest, as I need to honestly admit. However, I have had a few healing experiences during the last year which caused my mustard seed faith to increase a bit. 😉
Apropos Bible, I was just thinking of the situation where Jesus healed a certain woman who had been sick for a very long time. Let’s take a closer look at that special event.

Light Casts a Spell on Everything

Tags

Barbara Brown Taylor, darkness, experience, fear, God, Jesus Christ, light, the dark night of the soul, the dark night of the spirit, the light of the world, thought life

“Moonlight reflecting across the ocean” (Wallpaper)

If we were to live in the darkness 24/7, our lives would look much differently. Not only that they were much shorter because of the lack of sunlight and the lack of its positive consequences on our body and soul. Also, our whole environment and surroundings were not that beautiful, I assume. Recently, I was reminded of what I just described when I compared two situations on different days with one another. The other day I was swimming in a lake when there was no sun but only dark gray clouds in the sky. The water did not look that inviting; it was rather obscure, shadowy, and opaque. As soon as “something” touched my legs in the deep water, it made me shudder.  😛